


Les gnomes Café Cobayes Indiana Jones

by orphan_account



Category: South Park
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-22
Updated: 2013-04-29
Packaged: 2017-11-14 19:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/518792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What starts out as an innocent prank will soon escalate into something worse. Abandoned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter Track Foster the People – Pumped Up Kicks

It was baseball season in Colorado, and the leaves were a mix of gold and red. In the middle of September, Clyde Archibald Donovan would be pitching at his first baseball game at the University of Colorado in Boulder. He'd been placed in second string in August, and in a month his stats had improved significantly over his competitors. Clyde had never played a game since fall season started, but that would soon change come three pm ,tomorrow. He was in his dorm room alone, standing in front of the mirror posing in his red and white baseball player uniform.

He smiled at himself, happy that tomorrow the school would see the skills he had. He'd been training so hard, and he knew this was his moment to shine. He wondered if his mother was proud of him. He knew his friends were, they had all promised to come to his first game.

In the middle of imagining himself victorious after throwing the winning pitch, his phone rang. Clyde picked his phone up from the pile of dirty laundry he had thrown it into earlier. He cringed at the ring tone, one he had picked out in eighth grade, some trashy bubblegum song he had once thought was really cool. He'd never changed it because the thought never occurred to him. But now, after listening to it, he decided he'd have to change it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Clyde?"

"No, it's Sandra Bullock."

"Oh. Okay, bye."

Clyde rolled his eyes.

"Craig, you're great at dishing out sarcasm, why can't you see it when someone else is dishing it out to you?"

"I kind of wish you were Sandra Bullock. I'd ask for an explanation for why Miss Congeniality 2 needed to be made."

"Dude, what is with you liking Miss Congeniality?"

"Are you serious? She' agent under cover in a beauty pageant! What is there NOT to like?"

"It was a scholarship program."

"Whatever."

"Craig, what did you call me for?"

"Oh! Oh, right. You know that slender man myth on the internet?"

"Yeah? What about it?"

"So I was talking to Tweek the other day-"

"You talk to Tweek every day." Clyde interrupted him.

"Shut up. Anyway, he tells me that slender man thing freaks him out. So of course, I thought I'd have some fun."

Clyde spun around on his feet, his face set into one of worry and alarm. Craig's idea of fun was sort of sociopathic.

"Craig...what...did you do?"

Craig snickered, such an pleasant noise when it came from him, Clyde thought.

"I took some cardboard out from the art department, painted it black, waited for the thing to dry, then I cut it and made it look like that slender man thing. I had to use references on Google and Tumblr, but the end result was cardboard cut out of slender man. I went over to Tweek's dorm while he was in his cooking class. The cardboard slender man is now right outside Tweek's bedroom window. He's gonna freak out when he sees the thing!"

"...Craig, that was a mean thing to do."

"Psh, no it wasn't! It was funny!"

"No, it isn't. You shouldn't have put something up like that, it'll scare the hell out of him!"

"You know I'm getting sick of everyone treating Tweek like he's some delicate prince-ling. He's a lot stronger than people give him credit for, believe me, I've been on the receiving end of his punches. He's not fragile."

"I know that, but seriously, doing something like this doesn't seem right."

"Clyde, it's fine. Sure he'll freak out, like he does, but he'll get over it."

Clyde sighed. It wasn't worth arguing with Craig over it. They had all been friends for years, but still, Craig always acted like he knew Tweek longer than any of them had. If he could he'd probably claim he and Tweek had been besties since they were in the womb and their mothers shared OBGYNS.

"I hope you're right. Hey you and Tweek are still coming to my game tomorrow right?"

"Sure. Me, Tweek, Token, Nichole, Bebe. We'll be there, cheering you on."

"You mean Tweek, Token, Nichole and Bebe will be cheering me on, and you'll be reading some trashy celeb gossip mag, ignoring everything going on around you."

"That's what I just said."

"Goodbye, Craig."

Clyde hung up the phone, and afer mulling over the image, he wondered how Tweek would react to seeing a cardboard slender man outside his dorm room window.

Tweek reacts to seeing a cardboard slender man ouside his window.X

"That'll be $3.50."

The university student frowned.

"Last week it was $2.30 for a small coffee."

"Well last week the South American country where this coffee is grown wasn't under the dictatorship of brutal warlords. $3.50, please."

Not knowing what to say, the student handed over the money. Tweek smiled and handed the guy his change.

"Thanks, come again!" Tweek called to the man as he was leaving.

Bebe snickered at the innocent innuendo. Tweek smiled at her.

"Something funny, Miss Stevens?"

Bebe was leaning against the counters, sticking her hips out at an angle. Her arms were crossed,and she was resting her head on her arms.

"Oh no, Mister Tweek, I was simply amused by the word "come" in your sentence."

"Heh heh. It is a funny word, isn't it?"

Tweek and Bebe worked at Harbucks Cafe in Boulder after school for five hours a day, four days out of the week. Tweek got the job with his experience he'd gotten at his parents shop in South Park. Bebe got the job because she was fast at making drinks and making the customers feel at home. They worked the same hours, something their manager had decided because the place's sales went up when, as he put it, "Two gorgeous blondes are the ones making the coffee drinks." Their main customers were University students who made the three block trek to get their morning coffee before classes started, and after school let out and they needed something to help relax them.

"So was that whole mess about the war lord thing for real?" Bebe asked Tweek.

"Nah. I made it up. I was just getting sick of people coming in and complaining about the prices going up. Like, sorry the economy sucks!"

Bebe looked out at the busy dining room, filled with students on laptops doing homework. She chewed the pink bubblegum yum she had in her mouth, before blowing a fairly large bubble, making it pop when it was big enough.

Tweek cocked his head to the side.

"Where did you get gum?" He asked her.

"Oh,sorry." Bebe pulled off half the gum in her mouth, and put in Tweek's mouth.

Tweek chewed it, and watched the disgusted looks some people who were watching them were giving them.

"What? This isn't the weirdest thing we've done. Go back to reading your Harry Potter fanfiction." Tweek told the gawkers, who looked mortified. "Yeah, you think we can't see what you're looking at when we go around to sweep the floor? Give me a break."

Bebe grinned at him.

"I'd have you, here and now, if we didn't have a cafe full of people."

Tweek didn't say anything, he knew Bebe was just being playful.

Bebe and Tweek kept working until it was time for them to go home. Bebe had switched the music playing in the cafe to play Foster the People's Pumped up Kicks instead of the boring and slow folk music that had been playing before.

In their cute green visors and green aprons, the two blondes danced behind the counter as they cleaned off counters, and prepared mochas, macchiatos, and cappucinos. The Harbucks uniform, besides the visors and aprons, was a simple black Harbucks shirt and black jeans. With Tweek's coloring and Bebe's thick curly hair put in a high pony tail, the two of them looked pretty cute.

When they clocked out, Tweek and Bebe walked back to the dorms together. It had become second nature for them to do so. As they were walking, Bebe kept checking her phone for any texts she might have missed.

"Checking to see if your boyfriend texted you while you were at work?" Tweek teased her.

"Now why would I do that when my boyfriend is right here?" Bebe asked him.

Tweek stuck his tongue out at her.

"So did Clyde say anything?" He asked.

"Just to say, "Tweek's got a nasty surprise waiting at his dorm."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Maybe your boyfriend did something."

Tweek looked at her confused as they kept walking on back onto the University.

"I don't have a-" He realized who she was talking about. "Shut up!" He told her in a semi-annoyed tone of voice.

"Hey, if you can call someone who isn't my boyfriend my boyfriend, I can damn sure do the same." She pointed out.

Tweek looked in thedirection of the dorms.

"I wonder what he did." Tweek said to himself.

After saying goodbye to Bebe, Tweek went over to his dorms. It was far from dark outside, but it was getting there. When Tweek made the trek upstairs to his dorm, he began to feel a sense of dread. His dormmates were out partying, like they always did every Friday night, and he'd be alone tonight. Tweek became paranoid at what his best friend might have done.

When he opened the door, he slowly stepped inside the dorm room. After seeing that the inside hadn't been tampered with, and wondering what Craig could have done, he saw it.

"AAAAAAHHHH!"

Stuck on the window next to the bed was the most realistic slender man piece Tweek had ever seen. It freaked him out severely.

Tweek tried to open the window to get rid of it, but the window was stuck. His blinds were broken, and he had nothing to cover the window with.

"Damn that thing is scary! Ugh! I'm never gonna get any sleep with that creepy thing in my window! AH!"

Tweek paced in his room, panicking. Then, he stopped, and thought of a clever plan.

"Craig Ryan Tucker, you have no idea the hell I'm about to bring down on you." Tweek declared, the gears in his head turning with plans of revenge.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Track – All American Rejects- Swing Swing

Tweek glared at the cardboard slender man that had been taped onto his window. He kept imagining the death stares he gave the thing would be powerful enough to knock it down, but that never happened.

"Holy fuck, that thing creeps me out." Tweek said to himself.

He knew if his roommates were here, they'd help him get rid of it. Of course, they'd need a ladder. That's what made the whole thing so unbearable; that Tweek's dorm was on the fourth floor of the building, and he couldn't just go outside and tear the damn thing off. Well he probably could, if he was forty feet tall, which he was not.

Tweek sighed, and fell back on his bed. He stared up at the ceiling, trying to figure out the best way to get back at Craig. What sucked was that Craig wasn't afraid of anything, not really. He wasn't scared of the things other people were scared of, and never once did he ever show fear towards anything.

A blank slate like that was difficult, with no fear based spring board, how could he be expected to get back at Craig?

"...Maybe it doesn't have to be fear." Tweek said aloud, thinking up something that might just work.

He made the mistake of looking at the window again after he had gone a few minutes without looking at it. He noticed something he hadn't noticed before.

"Oh Jesus, it looks like it's WAVING at me! Aah! I swear, Craig, you are going to pay!"

Tweek got off the bed and flipped the light switch, making his room instantaneously dark. He thought it'd help, unfortunately with the campus streetlights, it made the cut out look even more prominent.

"Urgh!" Tweek uttered, getting frustrated.

He turned his back on the window. Too bad for him, he could still see slendy, as a looming shadow on his door.

"Well I'm not getting any sleep tonight, not with that thing." He muttered as he pulled the covers up over himself.

X. The morning of the game. X

Craig yawned as he stood inside the small gas station. Clyde's first game of the season was an away game, at another school two hours away. He had gotten up at ten that morning to get ready, and after meeting with his friends in the campus parking lot; they had hit the road in Bebe's dark green van.

"Dude, check this out," Token said to him, they've got something called pizza flavored hot dogs. How messed up is that?"

"It is pretty weird." Craig agreed.

Bebe was up front, paying for the gas she'd have to get for the trip. Nichole and Tweek were over by the coffee station, getting everyone's drinks. Craig and Token were told to, in Bebe's words, "Get snacks for the road. I'm only stopping this one time, so get as much junk food as you can."

"Hey what about this?" Craig asked as he held up a turkey and cheese lunchable.

"Can you get full off of that?" Token asked him.

Craig shrugged. He hadn't had a lunchable since he was ten, but for some reason, it looked really appetizing right about now.

Between them they collected several snack cakes, chips, and fruit flavored gummy candies. They went up to the counter where the others were waiting for them.

Craig noticed Tweek looking exhausted, as if he hadn't slept at all last night. Craig felt a satisfaction a having done something to keep Tweek up all night. He hadn't said one word about it since they met up that morning. He had no idea how Tweek felt after the prank, but he was sure Tweek had no hard feelings about it.

"Everyone ready to go?" Bebe asked after she paid for everything.

In the car, everyone was handed their coffees, the snacks were divvied up for consumption. While Bebe drove, Tweek rode shotgun, while Token and Nichole sat together in the back seat, Craig had the middle seat all to himself.

"Tweek, what kind of coffee did you get me?" Craig asked his best friend.

"Just regular coffee, black with sugar. Why? Something wrong?" Tweek asked.

"No, it's just...tastes kinda funny."

"Huh...that's weird." Tweek picked out a handful of gummy worms, and started wolfing them down.

Craig frowned and looked at his cup he held in his hands. The hot coffee had some weird cotton taste to it, and it felt heavy in his mouth. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was off. But he was tired, and he knew he'd need to keep drinking the coffee in order to stay awake during the day. So he kept drinking it, once every ten to fifteen minutes.

Bebe glanced at him from time to time, seeing Craig drink his coffee. Every so often, she'd catch Tweek's eye, and they'd give each other a subtle smile.

"Hey Tweek, how pissed are you that Hussie hasn't updated in weeks?" Nichole asked from the backseat.

"So mad! I've been patiently waiting, and this troll leaves us hanging, wanting more. I hate that shit."

"What do you think's gonna happen when he finally updates?" Token asked, as he shared Tweek and Nichole's interest in the webcomic.

"If I had to guess, something weird involving Vriska, or the alpha kids. I'm just hoping whatever Hussie decides, it'll subvert all our expectations." Tweek answered.

"I'm still creeped out by that last flash animation." Nichole said.

Tweek, Token, and Nichole all shared a shudder as they remembered how a fifteen minute flash could be so disturbing.

In the middle seat in the first row, Craig yawned.

"You alright Craig?" Tweek asked.

"I'm fine. I'm just..did you get decaf for me by mistake? I keep drinking, and I'm not any more awake than I was this morning."

"Craig, on my life, I did not get you decaf."

"Hmm...alright then." Craig said quietly.

"Ah! We're here!" Bebe exclaimed.

The four passengers quickly looked out the windows to see the University they'd be visiting for the day. This campus was slightly bigger than theirs, and because of the game that was playing today, there were a ton of people walking around, students from this school, and a lot of students from their university in Boulder were there as well.

Bebe found a parking spot after ten minutes of fruitless searching. It was about fifty yards away from the school's stadium, but it was a parking spot nonetheless.

Everyone got out of the van, and started walking towards the stadium. The weather that afternoon was uncommonly warm for september. The skies were a clear baby blue, and with a slight breeze, being outside was a pleasant experience.

Token and Nichole walked ahead, holding hands. A student from the university they were visiting was walking in the same direction as them, Nichole noticed he had an ice cream cone, an image that wouldn't usually be impressive; except that this ice cream had been carefully formed into the shape of a rose, the tips of the "petals" had been dipped in chocolate.

"EEEEE!" Nichole squeed, startling her boyfriend.

"What?" Token asked her.

"That ice cream! It's in the shape of a rose! I've never seen anything like it! Can we get some?" Nichole asked him excitedly.

Token smiled at her.

"Sure we can. Hey, wanna race to the ticket booth?"

"Oh come on Token, we're not little kids anymore, we don't have to-PSYCH!"

Token watched as Nichole took off running towards the entrance, already getting a head start on him. He immediately started running as fast he could in order to win their race.

Far away Bebe, Craig, and Tweek watched their friends racing.

"Tweek, Nichole's going to beat us to the front entrance!" Bebe whined.

"Well so? It's not a competition." Tweek told her.

"Yes it is! Everything is a competition!" Bebe cried dramatically, barely fighting to supress the giggle she had inside. She knew she was being silly, and she enjoyed it.

Tweek smirked as soon as Bebe began snickering.

"Oh, but seriously, let's race, it looks like fun."

"I bet I can get there faster than you can." Tweek challenged her.

"Oh you're on, mister!" Bebe exclaimed, feeling extra peppy today.

Craig watched as Bebe and Tweek ran towards the entrance, laughing together. Craig didn't feel like running, so he just kept on walking. He kept yawning, feeling more and more tired. He didn't understand it, especially since he had drunk all that coffee.

"Where does Tweek get his energy? He's exhausted in the morning for all of an hour, then the rest of the day he's as jumpy as a rabbit." Craig wondered aloud to himself, wishing he could have that kind of energy. He threw his empty coffee cup into a dumpster as soon as he had caught up with the others.

When the group entered the stadium they took their seats in the middle of the section where the visiting school's students were to sit. The whole section was covered in a sea of college students wearing the team colors red and white. Except for one young man who was too busy with his US Weekly.

"Craig, couldn't you have worn red and white like the rest of us?" Bebe asked him.

"Hey, the fact that I showed up should be enough, alright? Oh, Aniston, when are you ever going to have good luck when it comes to men?" Craig said to his magazine.

Bebe shook her head, clearly annoyed with him. The group sat together with Nichole at the end, Token next to her, sharing the rose shaped ie cream he had bought for her, then Craig, then Bebe, then Tweek, who sat at the opposite end.

Throughout the game, the group continously cheered for Clyde every time he went up to the pitcher's mound. Except for Craig, who instead chose to keep reading his trashy magazine that had an article about the new season of Teen Mom and Real Housewives.

"How rich is this school, they have two jumbo trons!" Tweek said to Bebe.

"I know, our school doesn't even have elevators for the dorms!" Bebe replied.

"Oh, Clyde's pitching again." Tweek informed her.

"What? Oh, oh! Clyde! Clyde CLYDE! WOOOOO!"

Her friends looked at her as if she were crazy, along with the other attendees at the baseball game. Bebe stood up, shouting at the top of her lungs, cheering for her friend.

Amazingly, Clyde noticed this, looked up at where she was in the bleachers, and smiled and waved to her before sending out a fastball that obliterated the batter's chances at scoring a hit.

Throughout the game, Craig kept yawning as he read through his magazine, and his tiredness kept increasing. During the ninth inning, he fell asleep.

Bebe looked at Craig, with his head tilted back and his arms at his sides, he looked vulnerable. She grinned as she brought this to Tweek's attention.

Tweek leaned over to see his best friend passed out.

"Oh Jesus, I was starting to think he'd never pass out!" Tweek said to Bebe as he quickly rummaged through his back pack.

"How much of that sleepy time pill did you put in his coffee?" Bebe asked, referring to earlier in the gas station that morning.

"Enough to keep him asleep for maybe a couple hours. Too bad it takes so long to kick in, I wanted to try this earlier." Tweek told her.

Tweek pulled out a large white sign, written in big blue box letters on the sign was the message,

TO: Women

FROM: God

"Oh my!" Bebe quickly covered her mouth to keep from laughing.

Tweek smiled at his sign.

"Yeah, I'm kinda proud of this."

"That's hilarious," Bebe told him, "Aren't you worried about what'll happen later?"

"Hell no! That jackass is about to get what's coming to him." Tweek declared.

From the other side of the aisle, Token and Nichole looked over when they saw Tweek placing something in front of Craig. When Tweek stood back to admire his handi work, the couple saw that he had placed the sign in front of a sleeping Craig, right across his chest.

Token rolled his eyes, and shook his head. Nichole giggled just as Bebe had, and not long after, Token was joining in. Tweek went back to his seat, while the group kept quietly snickering at Craig and his sign.

A while later, when a vendor went by, Tweek and Bebe bought themselves some cherry sno cones.

"Mmm, these are good." Tweek commented.

They had some uncommon good luck, as the person who ran the jumbo tron decided to put some of the people in the audience onto the screen. Most of them just waved and smiled, a few of them made faces, but the moment the screen showed Craig asleep with his silly sign, the crowds cheered louder than ever before, and some girls even squeed. The noise made by the crowds was so loud, that whoever was running the jumbo tron screens decided to keep Craig on the screens for a good four minutes.

Unfortunately the noise was so loud, it woke Craig up way before he was supposed to. He looked down at the sign lying across his chest, then up, at his face plastered on two eighty foot tall screens, and then at the crowd laughing at him.

"What the.." Craig mumbled as he read the sign.

His friends watched him, and kept their mouths covered with their hands to stifle their laughter.

Craig looked over at Tweek, who looked too smug for words.

"Tweek, what the hell?" Craig asked him.

"This is payback for putting that creepy ass slender man cut out on my window." Tweek told him.

Craig pushed the sign off him, and stood up. While Bebe, Token, and Nichole stayed in their seats, Tweek stood up, and walked over to Craig so that the two of them were facing each other right in front of Bebe.

"Tweek, this wasn't cool." Craig told him.

"Oh, and what you did was?" Tweek retorted.

"No, what I did was funny." Craig replied.

"Oh really? Well about ten thousand people here seem to think what I did was pretty funny." Tweek said, his arm making a sweeping motion towards the crowds surrounding them.

Craig saw the crowds laughing at him, and he lost it.

He tried to attack Tweek, but because of the narrow aisle, he was only able to wrestle his sno cone away. Tweek tried to get it back, and in the ensuing chaos the sno cone was accidentally dropped on Bebe's head. Token and Nichole looked on shocked, as Bebe replaced Craig on the jumbo tron. Craig and Tweek stopped their fighting to stare at her as the cold, wet, red sno cone made its way down her hair.

Craig glared at Tweek.

"Mark my words, I will get you back for this humiliation."

Craig said these words before he pushed past Tweek, and stalked down the steps towards the exit. Tweek watched him go, his hands clenched into fists. Bebe was shell shocked, Token and Nichole looked on at the spectacle, and Clyde, who was about to throw out another pitch, just stared at his friends in the stands, shocked at what he had seen.


	3. Chapter 3

X. Two Weeks Later X.

Chapter Track – okay, you know what? No chapter track for this one. Deal with it.

This story is dedicated to CindyP0P, and Lambylin, two incredibly talented artists. Happy late birthday, Lambylin.

I don't own South Park.

"Why did I have to come with you?" Clyde asked irritated.

"Because it would look too suspicious if I went by myself." Craig explained.

Clyde sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. They were on their way back to South Park for what Craig was calling "an impromptu visit". After what Tweek had pulled at Clyde's first baseball game, Craig was determined to get him back. Unfortunately, Tweek was a much more pulled together individual in college than he had been back in the day. So while they were at college, Craig didn't have much material to work with. Sure, he could scare him, but what he wanted to do was humiliate him, the way he had been.

Clyde looked out the window at the scenery they were passing. He had made plans to go out to dinner with Bebe, but when Craig decided he needed someone else with him to make the trip back to their hometown, Clyde had to cancel on her.

"It's cool, I'll just have dinner with Tweek after we get off work." She had told him when he called to cancel on her.

It kind of irked him that she was okay with him not having dinner with her, and how easy it was for her to replace him like that. When she hung up on him, he felt like he had made the wrong decision in accompanying Craig back to South Park.

"There's got to be some embarrassing stuff at his parents' house I can use." Craig said, talking more to himself than to Clyde.

"I really don't see why you need to get back at him, he only did what he did to get even with you." Clyde said.

"Like hell I'm going to let him be the winner in this. No, I'm going to be the one on top in this situation. I won't consider this over with until I get back at him."

"You know this vindictive nature of yours is why you only had three friends for the entirety of your teenage years."

"Shut up Clyde."

When they got into South Park, Craig immediately drove over to the Tweek house. It was here that Craig spent the majority of his time growing up, the Tweek house had become a second home for him, and the Tweeks became his surrogate parents from time to time.

He parked the car on the side of the street, and smirked when he saw Mrs. Tweek's car in the driveway. Clyde and Craig made their way up to the front steps. Craig rang the doorbell, waiting for Mrs. Tweek to answer the door.

"This is bad, this isn't right." Clyde said.

"Oh come on! If it were you, wouldn't you want to get even?" Craig asked him.

"Honestly? The stunts you two pulled at my first game were mortifying. But I'm not the type to hold a grudge."

"Well I am, which is why we're here to find anything I can use to get back at him."

Clyde shook his head, disapproving of Craig's motivations.

Mrs. Tweek answered the door not long afterwards.

"Oh hello boys! I wasn't expecting a visit from you! What a surprise!" Mrs. Tweek exclaimed, clapping her hands together excitedly.

"Hi, Cindy, it's great to see you." Craig told her, giving her a hug.

Clyde rolled his eyes at Craig's behavior. Craig shot him a dirty look in response. Clyde ignored this.

"Isn't Tweek with you?" Mrs. Tweek asked.

"Oh, no, he had to work, but, he sends his love. Which is why we're here. Mrs. Tweek, would it be alright if we came in for a bit? I'm doing a...special project on friendship, specifically on my friendship with Tweek. I need to find something of his to use." Craig explained.

Clyde kept giving him looks that said, 'Are you serious? Do you even hear how ridiculous that sounds?'

"Of course you can come in Craig, you're always welcome in our home. You too, Clyde." She added.

Clyde gave her a meek smile in response. He, like all of Tweek's friends, loved Tweek's mother. She was wholesome without being saccharine, and he considered her the ideal mother figure.

"Thanks Mrs. Tweek." Clyde told her as he and Craig made their way inside. Mrs. Tweek shut the door behind them.

"I've had to put most of Tweek's things away in the attic, so why don't you start looking for things there?" Mrs. Tweek suggested.

"That's a wonderful idea, Cindy thank you!" Craig said, Clyde thought Craig's change in his vocal tone to one of happy cheeriness was fake and unnecessary.

"Richard is at the store picking up dinner, if you'd like I can call him and ask him to bring something back for you two as well." Cindy offered.

"That's not-" Clyde was about to protest, but Craig interrupted him.

"That'd be really nice, thank you. Well, we'll be in the attic, looking for things to use for my...project." Craig told her.

"I'll call you down when dinner is ready." Mrs. Tweek told them as they went up the stairs towards the entrance to the attic.

In the attic, after twenty minutes of searching, Craig came across something that would be perfect for his revenge. Meanwhile, Clyde could only think of the one on one dinner with Bebe he was missing out on because of Craig's petty need to get revenge.


	4. Chapter 4

"It's cool, I'll just have dinner with Tweek after we get off work."

Bebe hung up her phone.

"Who was that?" Tweek asked her as he cut the cucumbers. "And what did you just volunteer me for?"

"Clyde, and dinner, with me, after work." Bebe told him, giving Tweek a flirty smile.

"Well aren't I the lucky one?" Tweek responded, grinning at Bebe.

In their cooking class with two students to a stove, Bebe and Tweek were making dil gazpacho as their assignment. With ten stoves in a large classroom, it was quite busy with everyone working to finish their dishes before the hour was up. Bebe prepped the tomatoes and peppers before handing them off to Tweek who added them to their mix. Yesterday they had made pad Thai with peanut sauce, and they found that they disliked the taste even though their teacher complimented them on their take on it. They hoped that they'd like dil gazpacho, neither of the blondes had tried it before.

"What was Clyde saying?" Tweek asked Bebe as he read from the recipe sheet.

"Something about Craig dragging him against his will to our hometown." Bebe responded, not looking at Tweek.

Tweek flickered his eyes in her direction.

"Why?" Tweek asked her.

Bebe squirmed uncomfortably, but she looked at Tweek as she told him, "He didn't say, but, given the circumstances I'd say...reasons."

Tweek slammed his palm down on the counter. Bebe frowned, seeing Tweek's frustrated, angry expressions was something she didn't like to witness.

"Dammit! That asshole Craig, what, he couldn't find anything good to prank me with here so he goes all the way to South Park?" Tweek asked hypothetically.

"It's been two weeks since Clyde's game, I thought he might have forgotten about it." Bebe said.

Tweek turned his attention back to their dish.

"No. Oh, no. My best friend is a vindictive, grudge-holding sonofabitch who never lets anything go, at least not lightly."

"What do you think he's going to do?"

"Well knowing him, something verging on terrifying me or humiliating me."

Bebe contemplated this. It wouldn't be out of character for Craig to be a total douche in this situation, seeing as how he's a douche 24/7. She honestly didn't understand why he had so many fan girls in high school. He was and is still the biggest prick in Colorado.

"Hey, Bebe, again, I'm really sorry for spilling the-"

"It's fine," Bebe interrupted him, holding up a hand to stop him, "You've apologized enough, and I forgive you. Besides, it's not the worst substance I've had in my hair."

Tweek dropped the tomato he was holding in his hand onto the counter, and gave Bebe a shocked look.

Bebe pursed her lips, "I was talking about the time I got gum stuck in my hair and had to get it cut in sixth grade! Geez, get your head out of the gutter."

Tweek shook his head at her, then went back to cutting the tomatoes for the puree. He eventually smiled, remembering that incident.

When they were finished with their dil gazpacho, their teacher sampled some of it, and gave them an A for taste, and a B for presentation, which was something neither of them understood. To their delight they found that they enjoyed the gazpacho, so much so that it was agreed that they'd try to make it again outside of class.

"So where were you and Clyde planning on having dinner?" Tweek asked Bebe.

They were sitting down at their small table in their class, enjoying their dil gazpacho.

Bebe swallowed the soup in her mouth before answering.

"Mmm, I was thinking about going to The Sink."

"I've never been, is it good?" Tweek asked.

"We'll find out tonight. Man, I can't believe Clyde canceled on me. He's been looking forward to this since Tuesday."

"You're acting like you've never had a guy cancel on you before." Tweek informed her.

"That's because I haven't! I mean look at me. I'm a frickin' bombshell. No man in their right mind would cancel on me unless they had a legitimate excuse for not showing up."

"I love your confidence. It's cool." Tweek told her.

Bebe smiled at him.

"Thank you, sweetie." She took another spoonful of the gazpacho.

X. While Tweek and Bebe were enjoying the food at The Sink, this was happening. X.

"What exactly are you looking for?" Clyde asked Craig.

"Anything that'll spell doom." Craig answered.

In the Tweek's attic, two young men were going through box after box labeled Tweek's things, trying to find something that Craig could use to prank Tweek with. Clyde didn't care, since he wasn't sure what Craig wanted to use. He thought Craig should just let it go, but he knew he wouldn't. So instead of having a date with Bebe, he was in an attic, helping a friend try to get vengeance on another friend. He felt that he didn't deserve this.

"What about this thing?"

Craig looked over his shoulder to see the what Clyde was holding.

"A junior division soccer trophy? Clyde, get your head out of your ass."

Clyde put the trophy back, and when Craig wasn't looking, he stuck his tongue out at him.

"There's gotta be- oh, what have we here?"

Clyde slowly turned back to see Craig pulling a plastic box filled with teddy bears out from behind an old easy chair. The teddy bears were all different colors and sizes. The entire box was filled with them.

"What the hell?" Clyde asked, walking over.

Just then, Mrs. Tweek climbed up into the attic.

"Boys, I've got dinner almost ready I just wanted to know if you boys preferred apple butter or honey butter for your bread." she said as she approached them.

"What's apple butter?" Clyde asked.

"Um, hey Cindy?" Craig began as he opened the lid on the plastic box.

Cindy Tweek turned her body in his direction.

"Yes Craig? Did you find what you need?"

"I think so...could you tell me about these?"

Craig held up a lime green stuffed bear with one hand.

"Oh, those were Tweek's when he was little." Cindy explained, taking the bear from Craig and holding it in her hands.

Craig felt a smile coming on, but suppressed it.

"For real?" he asked.

"Yes, they were. When Tweek was a baby, he had trouble sleeping the whole night through. I thought a teddy bear, a sleeping companion, would make going to sleep easier for him. But they were so cute, and Tweek loved them, so I just kept buying them, until he had one for every night of the week. By the time he was four, he could get to sleep easily enough, but by that time...well..."

She gestured to the many multi-colored teddy bears.

"How come I've never seen these before?" Craig asked her.

"Well, when Tweek was around six, he insisted on putting all of these bears up in the attic, and for his father and I to never mention them to anyone. I can't imagine why."

"That is...fantastic. Hey, um, would it be okay if I took these back with me?" Craig asked Cindy.

"I don't see why not. I bet Tweek will be surprised to see those again." Cindy said, giving the bear back to Craig.

Oh, I'm hoping on it. Craig thought.

"Well, I should finish dinner. It'll be ready in about ten minutes."

Cindy went towards to exit, and climbed down the stairs to the second floor hallway. The time that Craig and Mrs. Tweek were talking, Clyde had spent looking up what apple butter was on his phone. When he saw Mrs. Tweek was leaving, he ran towards the exit to the attic. He shouted down at her,

" APPLE BUTTER! MRS. TWEEK, I'D LIKE APPLE BUTTER!"

Craig picked up the box after putting the lime green teddy back in it.

"Come on, I've gotten what I need." Craig told Clyde.

"Yeah, but we're still staying for dinner, right?" Clyde asked.

"Oh, hell yeah, we'd be stupid not to. I mean come on, free food." Craig replied.

X. At Tweek and Bebe's dinner date thingy X.

"How good is this food?" Tweek asked happily.

"So good! Has Craig answered any of your texts?" Bebe asked Tweek as she chomped down on her burger.

"No, fucker's been ignoring my texts since four. I just wanna know what I have to look forward to."

"Isn't the whole point of pranks to be surprised?"

"Well yeah, but it just makes me nervous knowing he's probably in my parent's house now trying to get dirt on me."

"Sweetie try not to worry. Whatever he's got planned, I'm sure you can top it. Here, have a french fry."

"Thanks," Tweek told her as he took the french fry from her fingers. "Mmm! Those herbs!"

Bebe grinned at him.

"I know, right?"

"Do you wish it was Clyde here instead of me?"

Bebe thought about this before answering.

"I kind of don't. I mean, Clyde's great and all, but getting to hang out with you is always nice."

Tweek gave her a smile just as he was biting into his cheeseburger.

After they had eaten for a bit and downed their food with some cherry sprites, Tweek decided to say something to her about it.

"So what is the deal with you two?"

Bebe gave a dramatic sigh and started playing with her hair.

"Ugh, could we like, please have a conversation that doesn't at one point swerve over into my love life?"

"Does it?" Tweek asked her, resting his elbows on the table.

She opened her mouth to say something, thought about it, and decided to say nothing. Instead, she looked down at her half eaten food, head lowered, and shrugged her shoulders.

"You aren't sure." Tweek inferred.

"It's just that I never know where I stand with the guy. We're friends, we go on dates, but it's never anything serious. He tells me I'm the most beautiful woman on the planet and he just wants to see me happy. Then when I think he wants our relationship to be something more, we go back to being just friends. I wish I knew where we stood."

Tweek thought about this. It sounded like the same dilemma starting from when they were both eleven. They'd both dated other people over the years, and still the only constant they had was each other. He had no idea what Clyde wanted, or if Bebe wanted the same thing. Love, relationships, it's all very confusing. Tweek reached across the table for her hand. She looked up at him,then down at their hands. He used his thumb to gently rub against the back of her hand in a comforting motion.

Bebe sniffed, and squeezed his hand.

They returned to the campus just as it was getting dark.

"There's a costume contest at Baker Street Pub coming up for Halloween." Bebe said.

"How do you know that?" Tweek asked her.

"There was a flyer at the restaurant." She explained.

"Ah. You thinking we should try to win it?"

"Heck yeah! We could use this month and the majority of October to create the most amazing costumes and blow everyone else away."

"Could we do Homestuck?"

"We always do Homestuck though."

"Well so? No one does Homestuck cosplay as well as we do. And besides, the fandom here is surprisingly small, so we wouldn't have much in the way of competition." Tweek explained.

"Hmm. I'll start sketching outfit ideas tonight." Bebe said, already thinking of ideas.

They headed in the direction of Tweek's dorm building. With the campus lights,they could make out a figure walking out. A figure wearing a dark blue and black flannel shirt.

"Is that?" Bebe asked, pointing ahead.

"If it is, then I know he's got his prank all set up. Jesus, I hope it's nothing like shadow slender man again. Thing freaked out my roommates so much, they refused to do anything until it had been torn off the window and burnt."

"You know the myth around slender man, that he kills children and hangs their organs from trees, right? Like a fucked up ornament thing."

Tweek gave her a horrified look in response.

"Jesus fucking Christ, why would you tell me something like that?"

"You didn't know?"

"No I didn't know! Okay, now I'm really pissed Craig put that creepy fucker on my window."

Bebe's phone made the noise it made when she had a new text. She looked at the caller ID. Clyde. She looked over to where Craig was in the distance, walking away. He was alone, and there was no sign of anyone with him.

"Hey, I've gotta go. Thanks for having dinner with me, yeah?" Bebe said, placing a hand on his shoulder, then quickly removing it.

"Sure, no problem." Tweek walked over to his dorm as Bebe headed in the opposite direction.

"You tell me what the bastard does when you find out, alright?" Bebe shouted at him.

Tweek nodded his head.

"I'll give you all the details as soon as I can." Tweek shouted back, watching her as she ran back to her dorm, all the while reading her texts on her phone.

Tweek made his way up to his dorm, and used the key to unlock the door. As soon as he was in, he regretted it.

His two roommates were laughing loudly and for good reason. On his bed were all his old teddy bears. All of them. His old shame of rainbow hued fluffy-ness. This must be what Craig had gotten when he went back to South Park today. Not only were all his old teddy bears on display, but Craig had managed to arrange them in a way that it looked as though the bears were having an orgy.

A few were placed in the missionary position, some in doggy style, and a couple were 69-ing, or doing the reverse cowgirl. Tweek looked over at his roommates, who were now howling with laughter. Tweek put his hands into fists. Not only had Craig embarrassed him with an old shame, but now the people he had to live with for the semester had seen this rainbow furry coalition.

"How long have these been like this?" Tweek asked.

"Not long. An hour, maybe?" One roommate said in between laughing fits.

Tweek shook his head.

"That bastard." He said to himself.

"Aw, come on, it's pretty funny. Not the prank, I mean the fact that you needed a bunch of colorful teddies to fall asleep when you were little."

Tweek turned on his other roommate.

"He told you that?"

His other roommate nodded his head.

"Oh, yeah. We got to talking as he was setting these up. Yeah, we were in here studying for our Shakespeare quiz tomorrow. Gotta say, learning cringe worthy things about you was a way more fun way to spend the night."

The roommate who was laughing alone now took out his phone to take pictures.

"This is great, this is going right on Tumblr."

"Don't you dare," Tweek said, pointing at him, "Do it, and I'll break your phone and every one after it."

His roommate backed off and put his phone back in his pocket.

Tweek sighed, and looked at his bed. He walked over, and started taking the teddies off the bed. With nowhere else to put them, he just tossed them on the floor.

"Aw!" One roommate complained.

"Shut up." Tweek told him as he got into his bed.

His roommates spent the night studying, while Tweek texted Bebe what Craig had done.

Damn, Bebe texted, Clyde said Craig had something planned, but he wouldn't tell me what.

I'm getting him back for this. Tweek told her.

Oh course you are. What do you have planned?

Dunno yet. Have to sleep on it, try to figure out what I can use against him. Public humiliation is one thing, embarrassing you in front of people you have to live with and see every day? That's just wrong.

Hmm. Well I'm sure you'll think of something great. Remember, I'm in your corner. ;P

Tweek smiled to himself.

I'll let you know what I'm going to do as soon as I have it figured out. This isn't over. Not by a long shot.

Heh heh. I can't wait to see what you decide to do.

They had stopped texting around two in the morning. By that time, Tweek was starting to formulate ideas for his revenge.

After European history, Tweek pulled out his phone. After a few seconds, he reached the person he wanted to speak to.

"Hello?"

"Hey Token."

"Oh hey dude. What's up?"

"Not much. I need your help on a project."

"Oh yeah? For what class?"

"It's not for a class. The title of the project is...Guinea Pig Zombies."

"...Okay, I'm in."

Tweek made his way to his next class.

"For real?"

"Hell yeah. Sounds intriguing."

"Believe me, I intend this to be a master piece."

"I'll come by Harbucks after school, get some coffee, and then we can talk ideas." Token said.

"Sounds great. See you then."

Tweek hung up, just as Craig was walking by. Tweek looked at him, and Craig started laughing. Tweek rolled his eyes, and flipped Craig off. That made Craig stop laughing. Craig walked over to Tweek.

"You better start paying me royalties for that." Craig informed him.

Tweek kept his middle finger in the air.

"Who are you, Donald Trump? You don't own flipping the bird."

"Whatever. How'd you like the surprise I left on your bed?"

"They're being shipped back to my parents. I can't believe you did that." Tweek told him.

Craig laughed gently.

"Heh heh heh, yeah, it was pretty awesome."

Tweek rolled his eyes.

"Clyde's got pitching practice tomorrow. He asked if we wanted to watch." Craig said.

"Sounds good. Text me later with details." Tweek said.

"Kay." Craig said as he left to go to his own class.

Tweek went into his next class, pottery, with the intent of making some new pieces of art.


	5. Work, plans, and something unexpected

When classes had let out at the end of the day Tweek met Bebe by the school's entrance that led out to their small college town. Together they walked down to Harbucks to work. The clouds were thin, wispy, the leaves on the trees were beautiful in their shades of gold and red. The two blondes enjoyed the crisp autumn weather and the scenery.

"I love this time of year. It's makes me feel all warm and happy inside." Bebe announced.

Tweek looked up and the blue-gray sky, the weather was cool, but not terribly so.

Tweek smiled as they passed some trees with reddish orange leaves, the wind shook some of the leaves around them.

"Yeah, me too."

That day the sun warmed their backs through their jackets, making them feel especially good.

Tweek decided to initiate some conversation,"So about me getting back at Craig."

"Oooh, yes! Have you thought of what you're going to do?" Bebe asked, her eyes alight with interest.

"I have an idea, but it's still in the development process. I don't want to merely prank him, I want to scare him, even more than he scared me with Slender. Token's coming by Harbucks, to help me out with what I have planned."

"What does your prank involve?"

"Guinea Pig zombies."

Bebe's lips turned upward into a wide smile, and her steps increased with a delighted spring in her step.

"That sounds AMAZING! Are you gonna use actual guinea pigs?"

"What? No, I mean, I don't think I could achieve the same effect I want to get. No, I think I'll use fake ones."

"But it'll be super creepy though, right?" Bebe asked.

"Oh, totally!" Tweek told her.

They reached Harbucks in a matter of minutes. After they had put on their aprons and visors they clocked in and set to work taking customers' drink orders and refilling the pastry cabinet. They had a steady stream of customers, most of whom were other University students who came in for the free wi-fi while they did their homework. Since it was September the most popular item they sold was the pumpkin pie latte. A close second was the apple spice hot tea that was only available three months out of the year.

Bebe took the time to turn off the music that had been playing when they got in, and replaced it with her Ipod which was filled with Calvin Harris tracks. When Token Black entered the store later in the afternoon the track currently playing was Colours. Tweek waved him over after the last customer left with her order.

"Hey. I thought you were coming in after school." Tweek greeted him.

Token placed his bag on a table as he explained, "I was but then I remembered I had to drop Nichole off at work. Gotta pick her up at seven."

"Man, doesn't she ever get sick of depending on you for rides?" Bebe asks Token.

"Probably. But you know her, she wants to buy her own set of wheels, and she'll do it without my help." Token said.

"Props to her then." Bebe said while using a rag to clean off some dried coffee stains.

Tweek used his long limbs to jump over the counter.

Tweek casually called to Bebe over his shoulder as he walked over to Token, "Going on break."

"Whatever." Bebe responded, placing the rag back in its proper place after the stains had been cleaned.

Tweek took off his visor as he sat down at the table across from Token. Token took out a water bottle from his bag, a fucking bottle of Perrier because he can afford it. Tweek knows it's really just a brand under the Nestle corp, but he thinks Token really only drinks the stuff because people assume he should be drinking it because it was expensive taste connotations attached to it.

"So you wanna tell me more about Operation: Guinea Pig Zombies? Cause I'm not gonna lie, that idea sounds like it has great potential."

Tweek smiled as he stretched his long arms over his head.

"Oh, dude you have no idea. Alright, so I was thinking. You know those dudes in your special effects class? The ones that wanna do make up and effects for horror movies?"

Token nods his head yes.

"Yeah. What about them?"

"Their work is really great. I'd like to get them, and you, to do some gory make up effects, like turn out some really disturbing rotting furry reanimated corpses. And we get some of those old animatronic toys, and put the effects on those." Tweek explained, using his hands to gesture as he talked.

Token drank his water before responding, "So are you talking about my old animatronic toys, the ones the Disney Imagineers made for me when I was a kid?"

"Yeah, I'm still jealous your parents got the engineers at Disneyland to make toys for you. Anyway, yes, those. You've got some guinea pig ones right? Along with the robotic rats, rabbits, and hamsters?"

"I've got twenty that can still function, that is, make the animal noises, and move around."

"Excellent. After I get off work and you take Nichole home from work, we can call up the guys, set everything up."

"How long d'you think it'll take?" Token asks.

"Not too long. I mean I've got some concept designs I sketched in art class. Wanna see?"

"Sure."

Tweek stood up to go back to the counter. He reached underneath it where he and Bebe kept their bags, and pulled his bag out. He went back to the table, slumped his black bag on top of the table with a loud thud. Token watched as Tweek rummaged through his things until he pulled out a couple sheets of white paper. Tweek handed the sheets to Token as he zipped his bag up.

Token examined the papers, and saw that Tweek had sketched some very gruesome pictures of guinea pigs rotting, with eyeballs sticking out, brains exposed, matted fur, blood on their bodies, and there were even some with total organs exposed. Token saw that there were at least seven guinea pigs on each page. Seven sketches of rotting zombie guinea pigs. Token looked between the sheets and Tweek then handed the pieces of paper back to Tweek who put them back in his bag after unzipping the bag again.

"So what do you think?" Tweek asks.

"Are you sure you just want to scare him? Or are you wanting to make him piss his pants in terror?"

Tweek's eyes lit up after Token asked that question.

"Was that an actual option? Can I actually do that?"

Token looked at Tweek warily. He picked up his water and drank the rest of it. He wasn't sure exactly how far Tweek or Craig were willing to take their pranks. But this was so creative he just had to be a part of it and see what happened.

Token spoke, "I'll call up the guys whose phone numbers I have. I'll set everything up, if you want we can get started tonight."

"Are you serious?"

"Of course. I've got that storage unit, I can just stop by there, get the animatronic guinea pigs, go to the studio room, and make this happen."

Tweek snickered, "Make this happen?"

"Oh shut up, you're lucky I'm helping you with this elaborate ass scheme."

"Yeah yeah, I know. Don't think I don't appreciate it man."

An influx of customers came through the front door headed for the counter.

Bebe asked, "Hey Tweek, wanna come help me?"

"Be right there. Hey, thanks man. This is gonna be so awesome." Tweek said to Token.

Token and Tweek stood up, Token grabbed his bag, and shrugged his shoulders.

"I think it'll be pretty cool. Text me when you clock out, I'll come over and pick you up."

"Sounds good."

They waved goodbye as Tweek hopped back behind the counter to help Bebe, and Token headed out the door to kill time until he had to pick up Nichole.

They stayed busy for the next few hours, making drinks, making change, and in general making merry. It helped a lot that Calvin Harris was continuously playing. The customers tipped Tweek and Bebe since they were so keen on speedy yet friendly service, and the crowds that came in usually came in to appreciate the two good looking blondes.

"So what's going on?" Bebe asked Tweek after she handed the last cup of coffee to the last customer.

"After work Token and the guys in his special effects class and I are going to be creating some wicked guinea pig zombies."

"Can I see them before you scare Craig with them?"

Tweek gave Bebe a pat on the shoulder, "Oh course. I kind of want your opinion on them, I know how much you love gory stuff. I need you to determine if they're disgusting enough."

"Well in that case I'd love to be of help."

They finished up their chores before it was time to clock out. Tweek texted Token to ask if he'd mind dropping Bebe off at the University dorms before they went into the studio. Token texted back saying no, he didn't mind at all.

"You didn't have to do that." Bebe said while she and Tweek stood outside Harbucks waiting for their ride to arrive.

"I know." Tweek said, not looking at her but rather at the golden-red leaves off in the distance. He turned his head to the left to look at her, and gave her a small smile.

"I wanted to. I thought it'd be a nice thing to do."

Bebe beamed at Tweek as this happy feeling engulfed her. Tweek is a really nice guy, all her friends are nice, but Tweek is especially thoughtful.

"Well then thank you."

Just as Token pulled up in front of Harbuck's Bebe decided to give Tweek a kiss on the right side of his face, right in the middle of his cheek. Tweek was surprised by this, and after it had been done, he looked at her in bewilderment.

"What was that for?" He asks.

"For being a sweetie."

Tweek doesn't say anything because he's struggling to come up with a response.

Bebe slung her bag over her shoulder.

"What? I can't give you a smooch if I feel like it?"

Token honked his horn, indicating that he was ready for them.

Bebe headed for his car.

"Come on Tweek, time to go make some guinea pig zombies!" Bebe shouted.

Tweek grabbed his bag and quickly followed her, getting into Token's car they head back towards the University of Colorado.


	6. Six Scheming and Steak

Chapter Track: Lady Gaga: Money Honey

"So about that kiss." Token said, a smug look on his face.

"We are not talking about that." Tweek curtly replied, settling down lower into the passenger seat.

Token frowned as he backed out into the street and began the journey to where they needed to go.

"Aw come on man. You know how hard it was to not say anything while Bebe was in the car? But now that she's safe in her dorm and we are on our way to make robot guinea pig zombies I felt I could ask about that. Come on, share with me."

Tweek shook his head. "There's nothing really to share. I said we'd give her a ride home and she gave me a kiss to say thank you."

"Huh." Token said.

Tweek slowly turned his head to look at his friend. "Huh, what?"

Token drove onto the street that would lead them to their destination. "Nothing. I just thought maybe you and her might've had something on the side and I was witness to something a bit more exciting than a thank-you kiss."

"Dude, I'm telling you there's nothing like that going on between us. We're just friends." Tweek said.

"Could've fooled me." Token muttered.

"What?"

"Hey, doesn't Clyde have a thing going on with her?" Token asked.

"It's complicated with them. It's like two swans doing a mating dance and then running away from each other and then dancing again and then running away again. It's fucked up." Tweek answered.

"...huh."

Tweek noticed that they were where they needed to be.

"Let's see how far along they've gotten." Token said as they headed inside the building.

Earlier that night after explaining things to the students who would be making the guinea zombies, Bebe had asked to be dropped off at the dorms. Tweek had gone with Token when they dropped her off after explaining just what it was he wanted the special effects crew to do. Tweek hoped that Bebe got enough sleep, he knew her first class tomorrow was at seven in the morning, an hour so ungodly many would rather set fire to their enemies than do anything at that time other than sleep.

Tweek and Token went into the studio and found several art students excitedly applying different things to different toy guinea pigs. Token greeted their workers as Tweek went around observing their handi-work. The old toys Token had brought them had been transformed into realistic undead vermin. The attention to detail was wonderful. Some had empty sockets, some had tiny rotting teeth, and others had exposed organs on their backs.

They had been equipped with voice boxes that made them sound like actual guinea pigs, with squeaks and all. Their wheels were being replaced with tiny legs that would enable them to pad around like the real animal. They still had a way to go, but they would eventually become disgusting, horrific little abominations.

"Yes...yes...these will do perfectly." Tweek said.

"They're not really done yet." One of the students told him.

"That's cool," Tweek said, "Just try to have them completed by the day after tomorrow."

"Why the day after tomorrow?" Token asked.

"Tomorrow's Clyde's pitching practice day. Since Craig and I sort of ruined his first game of the season, I figured I'd put off pranking Craig until after tomorrow to avoid any more public incidents." Tweek explained.

"Oh. That makes sense." Token said.

"How horrible do you want things to be?" Another student asked Tweek.

"As fucking horrific as you can possibly make them." Tweek answered.

The next day after classes had let out Tweek met Craig and Token outside the school's stadium.

"Hey. You gonna prank me today or what?" Craig asked Tweek.

"If I pranked you today, don't you think that'd kind of take attention away from Clyde? We came here for him. I'm not a dick." Tweek responded.

"You ruined his first game." Craig pointed out.

"Fuck off. And hey, I remember you helping in that regard." Tweek said.

"Will you two just stop, please?" Token asked. He was starting to get fed up with their bickering.

Bebe arrived with Nichole, both wearing matching red sweaters.

Bebe nodded her head in their direction.

"Look at them, Nichole. Stupid boys, always bickering." Bebe said.

Nichole snickered at her.

"You ready to go in?" Token asked.

Bebe sighed, "Absolutely. I don't know how you stand to be around them when they're like that." She said in Tweek and Craig's direction.

Bebe decided to link arms with Nichole and Token, whom she playfully dubbed her OTP. Craig and Tweek followed them, and as they went into the stadium, they heard Token tell Bebe, "Well, you know how I suffer."

"Token, you're awesome." Nichole told her boyfriend.

They took their seats in the stadium, the day was sunny and warm, and a good number of students had turned out today. Some were even wearing school colors like Nichole and Bebe were. The five of them didn't really care that much about sports, or baseball in general, but they all liked Clyde, and when you have a friend, you support them no matter what. So they sat in their school's stadium, and watched and waited for Clyde Archibald Donovan to get his ass out on the field.

Clyde walked out into the field wearing his red and white uniform with the red baseball hat, tossing a baseball in his left hand.

"Oh, there he is." Craig said, pointing at where Clyde had taken a spot out on the grass.

"What? For real?" Bebe asked. She looked at where Craig was pointing until she spotted him.

"Oh! Oh! Woo! Go Clyde! You rock, dude! GO CLYDE!" Bebe shouted as she stood up, cupping her hands around her mouth, shouting as loud as she could.

Clyde had no problems hearing her, after throwing the ball to his partner he waved at her and smiled, and ended up missing the ball when his partner threw it back to him.

After Bebe sat back down, Tweek elbowed her. "I think I'm losing hearing because of you."

"Yeah Beebs, you really think it's necessary to alert Clyde to your presence every time we go watch him?" Craig asked.

"Yes. How else is he to know that I am here supporting him?"

"Well you could tell him after practice." Nichole suggested.

"Screw that!" Bebe scoffed. "My boy's going to be the next superstar for the Rockies one day. And I'm going to be able to say I was always his number one fan. Always."

Clyde was down on the field with his teammates for a long time, luckily Craig had thought to bring small lunchables which he kept in his backpack. These along with the capri-suns that came with the lunchables, helped tide over the group's hunger.

"Where'd you get these?" Tweek asked him, sipping on a fruit punch capri-sun after handing out the rest.

"I stole them from the cafeteria's fridge. There's five hungry strangers out on this campus somewhere." Craig told him.

"CRAIG!" Token scolded, in between bites of a turkey on a cracker.

"What? Did you want to go hungry? How about a thank you?" Craig snapped.

"Thank you, Captain Steals-a-lot." Tweek deadpanned.

"Heh heh heh, remember when we were sixteen, and Craig tried to steal all the cakes from our church's cake walk?" Bebe asked, giggling.

"I almost got away with it too, damn Maxi for catching on." Craig said.

After practice was done, Craig, Tweek, Token, Nichole, and Bebe went back down to meet Clyde by the entrance. Clyde's hair was a mess under his cap, and he had sweat and grass stains on his uniform.

"Hey guys. So. Did you enjoy yourselves?" Clyde asked.

"You were awesome out there! Hey, when's the next game?" Bebe asked him.

"Uh, in two weeks, if the weather's good." Clyde answered.

"Yeah, I can't believe how nice it's been!" Nichole said, soaking up some of the sun's rays.

"I know right? Dudes on the team be all, "where was this weather last year?" and I'm all "you got me on the team now! No bad weather now, motherfuckers." Clyde said.

Bebe laughed, and Craig and Tweek observed them, drinking their capri-suns in unison.

Clyde noticed them and asked, "Hey, where's mine?"

"Steal your own." Craig snipped. Tweek elbowed him in the gut.

"We're taking you out to eat." Token said, smiling at his best friend.

Clyde looked at his friends, not sure he heard them right.

"What, are you serious?" Clyde asked.

"Of course dude." Nichole said.

"We haven't really hung out much, and we miss you." Tweek told him.

"We all do." Bebe added.

Clyde smiled at them, his smile evolving into a grin.

"Aw man...am I a lucky dude or what?" Clyde asked, grinning from ear to ear.

"But uh, first,you think you might wanna um, y'know, change first?" Token asked Clyde, gesturing at his dirty and smelly uniform.

Clyde looked down at himself and snickered in embarrassment. "Oh yeah. Um, be right back."

After changing into some jeans and a red and black striped shirt, Clyde joined his friends as they made their way downtown to a sushi and steak place. They managed to snag a large booth in the back of the restaurant with red cushions and a black marble table top.

"This place is awesome! Look, they have movie memorabilia on the walls!" Clyde said excitedly.

"Oh wow, look at the portions!" Token enthused as a porter house steak was taken past them.

"Hey Tweek, check it. If you eat the Gigantor all the way, then you get the whole thing for free." Bebe said, showing him the steak on the menu.

"Fifty bucks for that monstrosity?!" Tweek shrieked.

"Bet you can't eat it." Craig said to Tweek, smirking behind his cherry coke.

"You're on, asshole." Tweek declared.

"Tweek, don't do anything stupid." Token warned.

"WAITER! I want the Gigantor!" Tweek yelled at their waiter, who was coming over to refill their drinks and take their orders.

"Too late." Nichole said, rolling her eyes.

"Holy shiznit, they have cookie pizzas here!" Clyde exclaimed.

"You're cute when you get excited." Bebe told Clyde, grinning at him, her chin resting in her right palm.

"Heh heh, yeah and..wait what?" Clyde asked, looking at her for the first time that night, and really truly looking at her.

Bebe gave him a wink, and nudged her leg against his. Clyde licked the bottom of his teeth, and nervously looked away. Bebe frowned, and scooted away from him. Token watched them, and without realizing it, he had a look of empathy for both of them.

Nichole noticed her boyfriend's sad expression, and tried to cheer him up by making a house of sugar packets. This seemed to do the trick, as Token ended up having fun with her, making tiny sugar packet stacks.

Tweek ate the Gigantor in one sitting, and after getting his picture put up on the wall of fame, he stuck his tongue out at Craig.

"Big deal, so you engorged yourself on a small cow." Craig snapped.

"What's that Craig? Do I detect jealousy in your voice? You know I'm our group's number one carnivore, admit it." Tweek taunted.

They were walking back to the dorms now, the streetlights were on, and cars drove on their way to and from the town. Token and Nichole were in the back, holding hands. Craig and Tweek were up front, and Clyde and Bebe were in the middle of the foursome.

"The only thing you're going to detect is my foot up your ass if you don't cut it out." Craig growled.

"Aw come on. Don't be a hate-BLARGHGHG!"

Their four friends stopped, it happened so quickly. Tweek's almost digested Gigantor steak came up, and the vomit landed all over Craig's dark blue cardigan and grey skinny jeans. All of it. There was a long silence until Craig spoke. "God-fucking-dammit."

When the others were back in their dorms, Clyde walked Bebe to her dorm building.

"That was a fun night." Clyde said to Bebe.

"It sure was. Even the part where Tweek puked on Craig?" Bebe asked.

"Especially when Tweek threw up on Craig!" Clyde exclaimed.

Bebe giggled, "Hey, my roommates are out of town visiting their parents. Would you um, like to come up for a cup of coffee?"

Clyde looked at her, then at her dorm.

"I'd love to, but I don't think coffee is a great idea at this time of night. Might keep me up late! And I don't want that! Ha ha! But thanks for the offer. I'll see you tomorrow!" Clyde answered her, making his way across the campus.

Bebe watched him go, leaning against the wall of the building, sighing sadly.

"You damn fool." She whispered, unsure if she was talking about herself or Clyde.


	7. Seven Wake up and call, and guinea pig zombies

Chapter Track: Heads Will Roll-The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Tweek called Bebe's phone at six-thirty the next morning. After letting it ring one too many times, she decided to pick up.

"Tweek, doll, do you know what time it is?"

"Yeah, I know. Sorry, but you wanted to see the guinea pigs when they were done, right?" He asked.

Bebe sat up in her bed, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. "Mmm, yeah?"

"Well they're done!" Tweek said in a cheery voice.

Bebe got out of bed at a snail's pace, wearing a gray and pink G1 My Little Pony shirt, slowly putting on a pair of neon green and black striped pants and her favorite glittery red converses that she made herself back in eleventh grade. Tweek was excitedly explaining how he planned on putting the critters around the school, in places that Craig would see them. Bebe scowled as she searched in her pile of laundry for a clean bra. After finding one and putting it on, she asked her friend, "So are you gonna pick me up, or?"

"Oh! Oh yeah, I am. I just wanted to be sure you were up before I got you." Tweek said.

Bebe made a sort of grunt noise in response. "Well I'm definitely up now."

"I'll pick you up in ten minutes."

After she hung up, Bebe raced to the bathroom to get prepped and ready for the day. She never wore any makeup beyond some eyeliner and a bit of pink lipstick. It took years to realize that for her, the minimum is best. She did however, love to go overboard with scented lotions and stuffs. She wasn't happy unless her teeth had been brushed three times, she had flossed twice, had on face lotion, body spray, and anything else she could use to make herself smell nice. She put her hair up in a scrunchie, styling it into a high pony tail. Tweek texted her, letting her know he was downstairs.

She got into his car a little while later, buckling herself inside.

"Alright, let's go see the abominations." Bebe said in between yawning.

"Uh, Bebe?" Tweek said hesitantly.

"Ugh, what? You woke me up at the ass crack of dawn, what, fucker?"

"You forgot your bag." Tweek helpfully pointed out.

Bebe looked down at herself. It was true, she remembered her phone and credit card, but not her bag, which she'd most certainly need later for school. She had forgotten it back up in her room.

"Son of a fuckwad." Bebe muttered.

Tweek laughed as she had to go all the way back inside and upstairs to grab her bag. When she came back downstairs, they took off. He took her to the studio where one of the students was waiting to present their handi-work. Bebe was wide awake when she saw the robotic guinea pig zombies. That was something she never thought she'd hear herself thinking about in her life ever. She loved Tweek and his creativity. She examined the things, all squeaking and rotting off parts and dead eyes and rotting teeth.

"Well? What do you think?" Tweek asked her, eager for her approval.

"I...I..." She faltered.

Even the special effects student was with Tweek, hanging on to hear her answer.

She turned to face them with the biggest, happiest grin ever. "I LOVE THEM! They're grotesque and amazing! Look at that detail! I kind of want one for my own!"

The special effects student laughed, "Glad you approve." He said sincerely.

"Alright, as promised, here's a check for you and your gang" Tweek said to the student, handing him a check.

When he read the amount on the check, the guy's jaw dropped. "Are-are you?"

"You guys earned it." Tweek told him.

"Thanks man. Thanks so much!" The student left the studio, loudly whooping and hollering on his way down the hall.

"How much did you pay him?" Bebe asked Tweek.

"Pay? I didn't pay him. That was Token's check I just gave him." Tweek clarified.

Bebe couldn't believe what she had heard. "Tweek..."

"What?"

"...Let's just set these things around the school, okay?" Bebe sighed.

X.X.X Later the same day X.X.X

Craig walked to his classes, popping some pieces of strawberry gum in his mouth. Craig wore his standard black shirt, dark blue jacket, and grey skinny jeans. His shoes were the same ones he had throughout high school, black hiking boots that he took great care of. Craig hasn't bought a new pair of shoes in over five years. He doesn't really need to. Those boots are in semi-perfect condition. Craig has his hood pulled over his head, leaving only his choppy, long black bangs visible. The rest of his hair is short, and obscured by the hood. As he makes his way to his next class, he hears against the din a familiar squeak. Stopping to look he catches a glimpse of what appears to be a guinea pig scurrying away.

"What the?" Craig wondered, unsure if he had really seen that.

Deciding not to pay it any mind, Craig continued on his way. In his film history class, Craig was paying attention to a lecture on the impact of Metropolis in the genre of sci-fi. Partway through a slide show of stills from the movie, a guinea pig scurries past Craig's feet. This time, Craig saw the creature, and he saw that pieces of its insides were exposed.

"Ah, shit!" Craig exclaimed.

"Mister Tucker, is there a problem?" His teacher asks, irritated at the interruption.

"There's a guinea pig in here! And it, its organs are exposed on its back!" Craig explained.

Some of his classmates laughed at him, a few of the curious ones looked around the floor, searching

for the guinea pig.

"There's no animals in my classroom, believe me if there were, I would know." His teacher told Craig, "Now kindly be quiet, there are people in this room that actually want to learn."

"But-" Craig protested.

"Bitch, what did I say?" The teacher interrupted.

Craig resigned himself to keeping his mouth shut, slumping down into his desk. He tried to listen to the rest of the lecture, but was preoccupied with thoughts of the guinea pig. The classroom was far too large for him to see if he could spot the thing again. A squeak came from behind Craig, and he turned around to see another guinea pig with rotting flesh sitting up on a window sill above him.

"AH, Oh, GOD!" Craig yelled.

"Mister TUCKER!" His teacher yelled.

The rest of the day went on in a similar fashion, Craig would see a rotting little guinea pig in the halls, in his classrooms. No one else seemed to see them, or pay them any mind. Trying to get others to acknowledge them was a fruitless venture. Craig would always catch a glimpse of them, seeing their disgusting little furry bodies. He'd try to see where they had come from, and would come up short. By his last class, he'd lost count of them. He was getting really freaked out about the whole thing.

While he was grabbing a code red Mountain Dew from a vending machine on the first floor Craig heard an all-too familiar voice coming up behind him.

"Hey man."

Craig picked his drink up before turning around. Standing in front of him chugging on a Faygo was his best friend. Tweek was wearing one of his trademark green and blue flannel plaid shirts worn over a simple black shirt, and olive-beige jeans, and dark grey vans. His long blond hair was flipped at the ends, while his bangs came dangerously close to being in his eyes. He screwed the top back on his bottle of Faygo, placing it in the slot in his messenger bag. Craig knew where Tweek had been. He could smell the familiar scent of cinnamon rolls around Tweek's face.

"Hey. Where have you been all day? I mean, I know you were in the cafeteria getting cinnamon rolls, I just mean where else have you been?" Craig asked him.

Tweek shrugged his shoulders. "Here and there." He answered Craig.

"I forgot to tell you, it took me hours to scrub your vomit out of my clothes last night. Thanks a lot." Craig said to Tweek, bitterness in his voice.

"Oh come on, you ought to be genuinely thanking me for giving you the chance to clean your clothes. You fucking love doing laundry and will take any excuse to do it. You jizz over name-brand fabric softeners." Tweek said, a bit too loud.

Craig flipped off some students walking past them who were giving Craig weird looks.

Craig and Tweek walked together to their lockers which were right next to each other. This was something neither had planned, and was just a freak coincidence done by the school. Their lockers were all the way on the other side of their college. Craig kept stealing glances around the hall, checking for another little guinea pig zombie. It escaped Craig that his batty behavior was really off-putting. Tweek watched Craig looking very paranoid, checking every corner they passed.

"You alright man?" Tweek asked, fighting a laugh.

"Fine, I'm fine just...keeping an eye out." Craig responded, his posture guarded.

"Keeping an eye out for what?" Tweek asked, fully amused at his best friend.

"Doesn't matter." Came Craig's curt response.

They reached their lockers, Craig took a cursory look around them, almost sure he could hear hints of clicks and squeaks. Tweek opened his locker and pulled out an Italian black wool suit jacket. After putting it on, he pulled out his bottle of Faygo, drinking the wicked elixir. Craig, having decided that he was seeing things and should let it go, went up to his locker, putting in the combination to unlock the door. Opening the door turned into his undoing.

"FUCK!" Craig screamed.

Tweek spat out his Faygo in a dramatic spray, the contents landed on the linoleum floor. Craig watched in horror as all of the guinea pig zombies he had seen throughout the day crawling out of his locker. He could see all the gory details of their bodies. They began to gather around Craig, who for his part backed away, completely freaked out until he noticed Tweek's reaction to all this. Laughter. Sheer, cackling, laughter.

"I...what?" Craig asked, completely bewildered.

"I was expecting a reaction, but not one like that. You don't disappoint Craig." Tweek laughed.

"You set this up?" Craig asked, pointing to the guinea pigs that were wandering about, as other students in the hall took steps around the critters.

"Who else?" Tweek asked, taking a drink of his Faygo.

Craig glared at his best friend, and violently smacked the bottle out of Tweek's hand and out of his mouth. The bottle fell to the floor, its contents spilling out all over, creating a sticky puddle.

"HEY!" Tweek cried, looking at Craig indignantly.

"You have any idea the hell you've inflicted on me?" Craig demanded.

"You have any idea how hard it was to find all those guinea pig zombies scattered about to put them all in your locker?" Tweek fired back.

"Zombies, is that what they are?" Craig asked, temporarily dropping his anger.

"Mm hm." Tweek replied, smiling brightly.

Craig turned to pick up one of them. Even though he knew they weren't real animals, he wasn't expecting them to be robots.

"These are-what are these?" Craig asked, holding one of them in his hands.

"Those are animatronic guinea pigs made to look like members of the newly undead." Tweek explained.

"Huh?" Craig asked, examining the rotting flesh of the guinea pig.

"They're toys that I had made up to look disgusting to scare you." Tweek re-explained.

Craig tossed the thing on the floor. He returned to glaring at Tweek, who was now triumphantly grinning like a madman.

"You made me crazy today with fear and paranoia. You took something I like a lot and made me terrified of it and made me look like a complete idiot. I won't let you get away with it." Craig declared.

"Second verse, same as the first, tell me something I don't know." Tweek said dismissively.

Craig followed Tweek outside, struggling to keep up with Tweek's long strides. Craig felt humiliated and angry at Tweek for ruining guinea pigs for him. He had to get back at him, he wouldn't stop until he had bested his best friend and came out on top. While he caught up with Tweek, he couldn't get the gory images of those robotic guinea pig zombies out of his mind. He couldn't help but hear the snickering of other students at his hilarious misfortune.

"What are you doing tonight?" Craig asked his best friend.

"After work, I'm working on my Homestuck cosplay with Bebe. And you?" Tweek replied.

"I'll be working on ways to fuck you over." Craig responded threateningly.

Tweek gave Craig a strange look for the way he phrased that sentence.


	8. 8

Chapter Track: Dion and the Belmonts: Runaround Sue

Token picked up his phone when he realized Craig was calling him.

"Yeah?" Token said.

"Token! I need to get back at Tweek for pranking me!" Craig exclaimed.

"Oh ho, well...I don't care." Token replied.

Craig heard the click of the phone as Token rudely hung up on him. Token connected his phone to the charger which he connected to his laptop. Nichole came back into the bedroom, applying lotion to her arms.

"Who was that?" Nichole asked her boyfriend.

"Craig. Saying he wants to prank Tweek." Token explained.

"Man, aren't they done with that yet?" Nichole asked, amazed that they were able to keep it up as long as they had.

"Well I think, and this is just me speaking out loud here, but given that it's Craig and Tweek, I don't think they will ever be done with pranking. At least not for a while. They're both stupid that way." Token said.

Nichole climbed onto the bed, flipping open her laptop next to Token's. They were both dressed in sweats, and colorful socks. Token and Nichole, as well as their friends, had a rule that they would never ever wear sweatpants out in public. Sweaters were okay as long as they weren't the ugly bulky kind that made one look fatter than one actually was.

"Are you getting involved again?" Nichole asked as she went to MSPaint Adventures.

"No way. Once was enough. And after seeing how much of my money Tweek gave to the special effects students, I really don't feel like laying down any more cash." Token said.

Nichole went to the latest update for Homestuck. It had been at least a week since the last update, and everyone was expecting something great, and Nichole found herself grinning as the latest update was a S: flash. She and Token spent the next thirteen minutes watching a flash video with completely new music and amazing art. Several things happened in this flash, far too many to mention. But it was all kinds of awesome and cool. When it was over, Token and Nichole were left staring at the screen in stunned silence.

"...What was that?" Token asked, minutes after the flash had ended.

"I don't know." Nichole answered.

"Who were those people?" Token asked.

"I don't know." Nichole answered.

"What were they doing?" Token asked.

"I don't know!" Nichole answered, giggling a bit. "Let's look at what the forum has to say."

The update was five hours ago, and the forum had 80 pages of comments added since that time.

"Shit." Nichole uttered when she saw how many posts she had to go through.

After searching, they were no closer to finding out what the hell that flash was all about. They resigned themselves to doing their homework instead. Although they had different majors they still helped each other with their work. Token had an essay to write about why Hipsters were horrible and Nichole needed to create a power point on the evils of misogynistic republicans.

"Hey, imagine hipster republicans." Token suggested.

Nichole did, and proceeded to flip her hair out of her face. "Um, I hated women and wanted to control their reproductive rights before it was cool, so..." She said in a very hipster-esque voice.

Token laughed at her antics, he was happy that he had a girlfriend with a sense of humor that was compatible with his.

"Hey, remember when we were sixteen and we dressed up as Michelle and Barack for Halloween?" Token asked Nichole.

"Yes. That was fun. Remember when South Park high voted us King and Queen of Homecoming every year?" Nichole asked Token.

"Heh heh...hrmm, yeah..." Token faltered.

"Yeah..."

There was a pause of silence before Token spoke again. "Thank God we don't live in South Park anymore."

"I know, right?" Nichole said.

Later Nichole lay awake as Token slept through the night. She kept thinking over how much more money she'd need to save up for a car. She didn't need anything fancy, just something that she could use so she didn't have to depend on anyone for rides or walk anymore. Maybe she should just ask Token to pay for it. She looked over at her sleeping boyfriend's face, so peaceful, so out of it. No, she decides. Although it would be so easy to do, she doesn't want to depend on her boyfriend like that. She'll have him carry her purse when they go shopping, but only if her arms are full of purchases, and only then.

Nichole hasn't gone shopping in a long time. She wishes she could, but she needs to save her money. She hates that her birthday is in the spring, she'd rake in loot for sure. While she's thinking of various things, one thing that crosses her mind is how cool it is that Token doesn't have any roommates, and that she can spend the night with him whenever she wants.

Nichole scooched closer to her boyfriend until she was right next to him. Even though he was asleep, when he felt her presence, Token instinctively draped an arm across Nichole and pulled her even closer to him. Nichole closed her eyes and smiled as she snuggled even closer to Token. She wrapped her arms and legs around his, their limbs completely entwined.

They woke up the next day the way they did every morning, snuggling, and giving each other soft kisses that would lead to other things. Their bedroom activities always made them sleepy afterwards. Token and Nichole were often late for their first classes of the day as a result. Not that they really cared all that much. After all, they were flying on love and endorphins. That, and Red Bull.

X.X.X Later that same day at Harbucks X.X.X

"Three cappuccinos, two mochas, and a soy latte." Bebe called off each drink as she handed them to their customers.

After school Harbucks was getting a steady increase of customers every half hour. It was getting to the point that people were getting annoyed that they couldn't find a place to sit. Too many pretentious hipster douche bags were taking up all the space in the dining area, hogging up the chairs and the tables, typing away on their brand new Apple laptops that their rich parents bought for them. Tweek and Bebe could see that what the majority of them were writing was one-man shows about how bohemian their lives are.

"Makes me sick." Tweek murmured to Bebe as soon as the last customer had left the store. There were still several hipsters lounging about, taking up a majority of space.

"Their rhetoric, or them in general?" Bebe asked her friend.

"Just...all of it. I had to grow up catering to these pricks at my parent's coffee shop, remember? And I can't stand them, they are so full of themselves." Tweek ranted in a quiet voice, making sure that no one heard him.

Bebe could understand where he was coming from. She hadn't really had much exposure to hipsters until she started working at coffee shops, but she could see where all of Tweek's vitriol for them came from. Never had she met a group of people she despised more. Well maybe the goths from South Park, but here at the University of Colorado hipsters were more prevalent in the area they lived in.

And unluckily for Tweek and Bebe, part of their job meant serving these pretentious artsy pricks their coffee drink and getting them their bagels and scones whenever they wanted them.

Their manager came out from his office, scowling at all the layabouts.

"Maybe I should get rid of the wi-fi. Maybe that would get rid of them." He suggested.

"NO!" Tweek and Bebe whined, to his surprise.

"Do that and we'll have one less place to surf the internet in our downtime." Bebe told him.

Their manager left every day at the same time, leaving Tweek and Bebe alone for the rest of their nights. They liked this, because they could listen to the music they wanted, play on their phones, and talk to each other as much as they want. Bebe messed around with the music player, switching out the hipster music shit with some Dion and The Belmonts. She turned the volume up as loud as she could, and when she noticed Tweek's smile, she flashed him one in response. Without missing a beat, the two blonds began dancing in the dining area to Runaround Sue, wearing the happiest grins anyone could wear. Tweek sang along to Dion's parts while Bebe kept up with the back up singers' parts. They performed an impromptu dance routine, with lots of hip shaking and twists and turns.

The non-ironic song and dance annoyed the hipsters, who decided to file out of Harbucks. Tweek and Bebe cared not, because the hipsters had already given them their money for their drinks. The only people left were the nice university students who were only there to do their homework. They actually enjoyed it when Tweek and Bebe did things like this, they thought it was cute, and something that could only happen in romantic comedies.

When the song ended, the patrons applauded as Tweek and Bebe took their bows. Their other coworkers who stood by the counters were not amused. They did not dance in public, and they did not care for the blond's antics. One of them yelled at Bebe and Tweek,

"Get back to work!"

Bebe and Tweek returned to the counters, muttering about how much of a buzzkill their coworkers were. It was a good thing they only had to work with them for a little bit longer. Tweek knew that the only reason his job was any fun at all was because he had his friend Bebe there by his side.

When it was time for them to clock out, Bebe and Tweek didn't give so much as a second glance to their coworkers, who were only there to close up the store. Bebe grabbed herself and Tweek a couple of grande hot chocolates with cinnamon powder. A beverage that the two of them had grown quite fond of.

Bebe handed Tweek his drink while taking a sip from hers.

"Thanks." Tweek said as he received the cup from her.

"You're welcome," Bebe replied.

They began their walk back to the dorms, the sky above them was growing darker than the hour itself, and the temperature while pleasant, cold do nothing to hide the cold wind that would be coming soon. Red and gold leaves would fall from the trees when winter came, but for now, they would enjoy this autumn season as long as they could.

"Where do you want to go to buy the fabric for our costumes?" Tweek asked Bebe.

They had been deliberating on which characters from Homestuck they'd be for Halloween, for the costume contest at Baker Street Pub. After a lot of thought it had been decided that Bebe would be Meenah while Tweek would go as Dirk Strider.

"Hmm, there are a few places around here we could go. I think what we'll need to worry about more than anything are the accessories." Bebe pointed out.

"Well for that, I'm sure etsy could help us." Tweek commented.

"How great is etsy?" Bebe asked.

"So great!" Tweek agreed.

Bebe drank some more of her hot chocolate. She enjoyed the hint of cinnamon, the flavors warmed her inside.

"We should go shopping for our costumes soon. I can just buy a Dirk Strider shirt from What Pumpkin, but the rest should take a while to find." Tweek said.

"Could we do it the day after tomorrow?" Bebe asked.

"Why the day after tomorrow?" Tweek asked her.

"Because tomorrow I'm going to attempt to try to go on a date with Clyde." Bebe announced with a smile on her face.

"What do you mean, attempt?" Tweek asked.

"I mean, I had already asked him earlier in the day if he'd like to go to a movie with me tomorrow." Bebe explained.

"And what did he say?" Tweek asked before drinking some more of his hot chocolate.

"He said he'd think about it." Bebe answered in a terse tone of voice.

Tweek scoffed and shook his head. "What the hell is happening with you two?"

"Gods, I don't know. Everything used to be so much easier between us." Bebe said.

"Yes, back when we were ten, everything was easier." Tweek added, "You could be whoever you wanted, do whatever you want."

"Mmm, and now you can't do or say anything without feeling as though you've made a mistake, or that you'd lose someone in the process." Bebe lamented.

Tweek stopped to look at her face, she looked very sad, as though she were thinking of all the mistakes she and Clyde had made in the past in regards to their relationship. He knew that while neither were sure exactly what it was they wanted, he'd be hard pressed to find two people so inexplicably drawn to each other, no matter the circumstance.

"You want to talk about it?"

Bebe looked at Tweek, careful to change her expression. "No, I don't. Thank you though, Tweek."

They left it at that, with Tweek secretly wishing that Clyde wouldn't turn Bebe down for a date, and if he did, than he'd be a fool for doing so.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Bebe called over her shoulder as she went inside her dorms.

"Night Bebe." Tweek responded.

When she was safe inside, Tweek went on his way to his dorms. After climbing the stairs he found a note, taped to the door. He read it, and saw that it was from his two roommates, saying that they'd gone out to eat for the night, and they'd be back later. Tweek didn't mind this, he actually liked having the place all to himself.

After finishing his hot chocolate with cinnamon powder, Tweek worked on some assignments for his classes, did some homework, and bought a Dirk Strider shirt online from What Pumpkin. He rifled through the fridge, finding some left over fried chicken for dinner. Later still, when he felt boredom creeping upon him he decided to take a shower.

He got into the tub, and turned the water to his preferred setting. After enjoying the warmth and cleaning his body, he grabbed his shampoo to clean his hair. Tweek had some in his scalp, massaging it in. It was only when he put his head under the water, did the itching start.

"What in the-"

Tweek scratched at his head, but the itching only got worse. Under the water, it became unbearable. He felt hot, and as though several millions upon millions of tiny things were making his head itch.

"Ah, make it stop!" Tweek cried.

He dug his nails farther into his scalp, scratching, and trying to rinse the shampoo out of his hair. He regretted putting so much of it on his head and in his hair. It took several minutes until the itching had finally subsided. He hoped he hadn't bled out from the scratches. He stood under the water for several minutes. When he felt well enough, he turned off the water, grabbed a towel, and dried off.

When he stepped out of the tub, after wiping off the steam from the bathroom mirror, he saw what had been done to his hair.

"AHHHHHH!" He screamed.

Tweek touched his hair, unable to believe what he saw. He knew who had done this, and he knew how.

"Dammit Craig. And damn you." Tweek vowed in front of his mirror.

AN: Thank you to Creek Grrl, bernaisbeast, SpiderlilyPrincipessa, and Guest.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Track: Flo Rida I Cry

The next day Clyde had gotten up early to grab donuts and coffee for his friends at the Dunkin' Donuts that had opened up in town last week. Every time he went in the place, it was always busy with customers heading out to large sports events. This morning however, he was lucky to find the place wasn't as busy as it usually was, and he was able to get his order without waiting in a ridiculously long line. Clyde knew that his friends all had early classes, and they typically came to congregate together in the cafeteria to talk and have breakfast before they went to their classes. He knew they'd appreciate quality donuts over shitty college cafeteria food.

The sun hadn't even risen yet, not really. The sky was a pretty shade of cerulean, and dark grey clouds gathered over the horizon. There was a quiet peacefulness that encompassed the town, as if the town itself and its residents weren't truly awake yet. As Clyde drove back towards the school, he thought about how nice and serene this morning was, and if he were a deeper thinker, he'd probably be lost in serious contemplation. But since he wasn't, he decided to just enjoy the sounds of the wind and the road as he drove on.

There was a cold wind picking up that was coming in from Kansas, and created a chill in the air that wasn't there before. Given the circumstances, Clyde thought that they might either get rain, or snow. It was still September, and anything was possible. Feeling bored, Clyde turned on the radio to the rap station, which was something he could only do when he was alone, because none of his friends had a very high tolerance for rap, and actually he was the only one of his friends who enjoyed rap and hip hop sincerely without a hint of irony. He liked his friends genres of music as well, but rap was a genre that was enjoyed by him and only him.

He enjoyed maybe three or four songs before he parked his car back in the campus parking lot. He grabbed the coffees and the boxes of donuts, and carried them inside the cafeteria. Inside, the school had the temperature of the cafeteria set to a comfortable high-warm quality, to offset the chill outside. Several students were grabbing food, or sitting down at tables. Some were studying, and some were resting their heads on the tables. There were maybe two hundred students total, with some leaving and some coming in.

Clyde walked through the cafeteria until he was close to the designated table he and his friends had staked out as their territory. Sitting next to each other were Token and Nichole, Token was laying his head on Nichole's shoulder, and he looked positively comfortable. Nichole was reading from a small book, bound in dark green leather, with gold lettering on the front.

Across from them sat Craig and Bebe. Although their backs were to Clyde, he knew from their postures that Bebe was excitedly talking about something, and while Craig was politely listening to her, he was not interested in whatever it was she was talking about.

Clyde smiled slightly to himself. He'd happily listen to whatever Bebe had to say, and he'd be genuinely interested too. Clyde loved to listen to Bebe talk about whatever she was interested in. She put her all into whatever she cared about, and she always spoke with such passion. She was just a very positive person to be around, and Clyde appreciated that about her.

As Clyde got closer, he could over-hear what Bebe was talking about.

"So there's three baby dragons, right? And they're really cute, I mean as cute as CGI baby dragons can be. And Emilia Clark is pretty, I mean REALLY pretty. Did you know she's a brunette? Because I sure as hell didn't!" Bebe babbled.

"No," Craig says quietly, "I had no idea. Wanna talk about Vikings?" He asked.

"Mmm, nah, I haven't even watched the first episode yet!" Bebe responded.

Clyde stood in front of their table, a huge grin was plastered on his face. "Who wants quality breakfast?" Clyde asked.

"I do! I do!" Token cheerily answered as he still rested on his girlfriend's shoulder.

Nichole smiled, put her book down, and looked up at Clyde along with the rest of their friends. "Yay, you got Dunkin' Donuts!" Nichole enthused.

Clyde did that cute thing that Bebe liked when he wiggled his eyebrows. "Yup sure did."

Clyde handed out the coffees, and set the two boxes of dozen donuts down on the table. His friends, after thanking Clyde, opened the box and started digging in. Clyde was sure to get an assortment of different varieties so that everyone was happy. Clyde sat down next to Craig, leaving Craig in the middle with Bebe.

Bebe however, did not like that arrangement and so instead decided to stand up, walk around Craig, and then not so subtly nudged him with her hips until he got the point and scooched over so Bebe could sit with Clyde. After she had sat down Craig rolled his eyes. He could care less where he sat.

Clyde spoke to Nichole after he was comfortable, "Hey Nichole, what's that book?"

"Anna Karenina, I picked it up from the clearance rack in Waldenbooks. I've never read it before. So far, I like it." Nichole answered.

Clyde smiled, and then felt the presence of eyes on him.

Looking to his left, he caught sight of Bebe smiling at him, one elbow on the table, chin resting in the palm of her hand.

"Uh, hey Bebe. Do you like the donuts?" Clyde awkwardly asks her.

"Yeah, definitely. You know I like the jelly filled ones. So Clyde, how are you?" Bebe asked, scooching a bit closer to him.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I'm alright. Didn't get much sleep last night. How about you?"

Bebe flashed him her most charming smile, eyes sparkling despite the early hour, "I'm feeling peachy today."

Clyde grinned, then winked at her. He relaxed, and sipped some coffee, and nibbled on an apple fritter. There was a quiet lull in the cafeteria, a handful of students here and there were having quiet conversations, outside, distant thunder claps could be heard. When Clyde looked up from his phone where he had been reading a Cracked article, he noticed something he hadn't before.

"Hey!" Clyde whined, "Where's Tweek? You all know I can't have a good morning unless I get my morning hug from him!"

"I haven't seen him." Token said.

"Mm-mm," Nichole murmured, agreeing with her boyfriend, who was finally sitting upright, eating a chocolate frosted doughnut.

"I walked back to the University with him from work last night, but I haven't seen him since then." Bebe offered, worry in her voice and eyes.

"Hmm." Clyde said, thinking that over.

Craig, who up until this moment had been immersed in his black coffee, looked to his left to see all of his friends staring at him.

"What?" Craig asked them, "Why are you all looking at me like that?"

They said nothing, but kept staring at him in an accusatory fashion. Craig rolled his eyes and slammed his hands down on the table. He faced them, with a glare fixed on his countenance.

"Argh, what am I, his keeper? Why should I know where he is, or why he isn't here?" Craig demanded, losing his patience.

"You did something to him, didn't you?" Bebe asked.

"Maybe. Who cares? Here's an idea: How about one of you assholes does something smart for a change and texts him to see where he is?" Craig asked.

Before one of them could answer him, a loud sound resounded through the large building, and it was the sound of large, heavy doors being slammed open with a strong force. All the air in the room seemed to be sucked out, and everyone in the cafeteria was stunned into silence. Everyone except Craig had their heads craned in the direction the loud slamming noise had originated from.

Craig didn't need to turn around to know who had made the noise. "Speak of the Devil," Craig muttered, shrinking down into himself.

At a lone table, a tall, dark haired architecture student in a red jacket slowly stood up, and with a flourish of slow motion, pointed his long finger in the direction of the offending noise maker.

"PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKK!" He yelled.

Tweek stormed down to his friends, ignoring the stares and murmurs and questions shouted at him. Everyone was gawking at his bright pink hair, which was stuck in a sort of spiky halo of sun rays around his head. The color was bright, vibrant, and solid.

"Here comes Tweek," Bebe announced, "And he looks pissed!"

"I knew Craig did something to him." Whispered Nichole to Token.

Token nodded his head, eager to see what would happen next. Clyde couldn't help but gape, mouth open like a codfish.

Tweek came and stood over Craig, towering over him, glowering over him. Everyone in the cafeteria was watching him, waiting to see what would happen.

Craig finally looked up at his friend. "Well hey there, Pink. What's up?"

A lone snort of laughter was heard, but when Tweek whipped his head up to search for the offender, the noise quieted down. Tweek went back to glaring down at Craig.

"I...am going to kick...your...ass!" Tweek declared to Craig.

Craig couldn't help looking nervous.

"What did you do?" Clyde asked Craig, switching his gaze from his two friends.

Tweek twitched and said, "Yes Craig, what did you do?"

"It's not a big deal, I just put some itching powder, pink kool-aid, and hard setting gel in his shampoo and conditioners." Craig answered. "...Although now that I look at it, I may have gone overboard."

"May have?" Tweek repeated incredulously.

"You look like a gay cockatoo." Nichole commented, meaning to keep that a private thought.

"I was going to say flamingo." Token observed.

"Anime character." Bebe added.

"I went to every stylist in town. My hair is ruined. I have to have it all cut off. I have to order my Dirk wig a week early, and I don't have the money for that. What do you have to say, you massive douche?" Tweek demanded, anger rising in his voice.

Craig got up slowly, and solemnly looked at Tweek. "Tweek...this is the funniest thing I have done to you in a long time!" He exclaimed.

Craig didn't even have the chance to laugh, as Tweek pulled his fist back before clocking Craig so hard that his dark haired friend was on the floor, holding his jaw.

"Oh my god!" Clyde yelled, " You knocked him out of his shoes!"

It was true, Tweek had hit him so hard that Craig was on the ground, in his socks, his shoes a few inches in front of him. After checking to see that Craig was bleeding, Tweek stormed off. Clyde immediately got up and ran after him.

Bebe cried out, "Clyde, wait! Are we still going to see a movie tonight?"

She received no answer.

"Ow, he hit me pretty hard." Craig muttered as he continued to rub his jaw.

"Well you didn't get anything you didn't deserve." Token told him as he and Nichole helped him get to his feet.

While Token and Nichole were taking Craig to the nurse's office, Bebe wandered the halls until she found Tweek and Clyde talking by some lockers. She decided to eavesdrop.

"Cheer up man, it doesn't look that bad." Clyde tried to console him.

"I look like a fucking punk from the seventies." Tweek complained.

"Isn't punk in this year?" Clyde asked.

Tweek exhaled a bit too loudly and said, "I just-fuck, I'm pissed off. I really need to do something drastic to get him back for this."

"I'm sure you will. And hey, that zombie guinea pig prank you pulled? Totally awesome man." Clyde told him.

Tweek seemed happy to hear this. "You think so?"

Clyde nodded, "Oh hells yeah. I just wish it had been caught on video. But word spread like wildfire around the school. Your pranks are getting both you and Craig some notoriety around the university."

"Really? Wow, maybe I'll be invited to sit at the popular table one day." Tweek sarcastically quipped.

Clyde rolled his eyes, but gave Tweek a hug anyway.

"Keep your chin up, you'll make him pay." Clyde told him as he let him go.

Bebe thought that Clyde was a good friend, where as she was struggling not to laugh at Tweek's plight.

The bell rang, it was time for classes to start.

Later in the day during her marine biology class Bebe received a text message.

Clyde: Still wanna go to a movie?

She smiled, and shot back a quick text.

Bebe: Sure. Pick me up around seven at my dorms.

Clyde: Okay.

That night they went to the movies inside the local mall, where admission was only two dollars per ticket.

"So what are we seeing? The new Channing Tatum rom-com?" Clyde asked as they waited in line.

Bebe giggled, "No. We're seeing Blood Fart Lake 2: The Returnening."

"What."

"You'll like it. It's a lot better than it sounds." Bebe assured him.

Ten minutes later Clyde would find out that no, it really wasn't. He didn't know where exactly Bebe got her taste in movies, but she had to be the only girl in the theater laughing at the cheesy serial killer effects in the movie. Clyde couldn't follow the plot at all, everything was badly acted, and poorly edited. But Bebe seemed to like it, so he relaxed, and enjoyed the feeling of holding her hand in his, squeezing it every now and then.

Clyde walked her back to the dorms, constantly checking her out. She was wearing a v-neck t-shirt that complimented her chest nicely. Clyde couldn't help but stare. And Bebe was smiling from ear to ear, happy to be on a date with Clyde, who she liked a great deal. Clyde was attractive in a sweet kind of way, and she just wanted to hold onto him forever.

"Did you enjoy the movie?" Bebe asked as they stood in front of the dormitory.

Clyde thought about it before answering. "You know what? I did. Thanks for introducing me to an...interesting genre of film."

Bebe laughed, her laugh was breathy and genuine. "Z-Grade films take a while to get used to, but I promise they are fun."

Clyde chuckled softly, then tucked a stray curl behind Bebe's ear. Hesitantly, he leaned into her, and she, excited, closed the gap, and they shared a very long, sweet kiss under dark grey clouds.

AN: Thank you to Jess1993, Icicle33, SpiderlilyPrincipessa, and Creek Grrl.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Track: Block B -Nillili Mambo

Bebe spent the next three days with Clyde, texting him, walking with him to classes, having lunch every day with him in the school's cafeteria. She enjoyed the feeling of her hand in his, and the feeling of everyone's eyes on them as they strode together in the halls. She had heard the gossip from girls in the bathrooms, there was rumor that the baseball team was making improvements at practice, and they'd win their next game, which was to be their third; which would give them a winning streak that would catapult the players to popularity.

Bebe thought Clyde had the potential to be a great pitcher, and she knew success would come to him. But that's not why she glowed with the air of superiority when they walked together arm in arm. She wasn't interested in him because being with him would improve her status on the popularity food chain. Although she wasn't about to deny that it was a bonus. No, she had been interested in rekindling what they had years ago, and she was happy that they were back in that new sweethearts place. Being friends was fine, but Bebe had always held onto her crush, and she loved Clyde, and had wanted to be his girlfriend again for a long time. Now that they were officially an item once again, she couldn't help beaming with pride and joy.

Clyde grinned at Bebe when hey saw her smiling, and he never hesitated to kiss her whenever the mood struck. She always, quite enthusiastically at that, returned the affections he gave her. Clyde thought Bebe was just as sexy and adorable as she had been back when they were younger, if not more so. He held her close when they hugged in the halls, he enjoyed talking to her about the tv shows she was into, and talking to her about his team mates. Their friends were happy for them, especially Token and Nichole, who were happy to finally have a couple they could go on double dates with.

On the third night, which was one of Bebe's nights off from work and one of the nights Clyde didn't have practice with his team mates, Token took them and his girlfriend out to eat at a fancy restaurant. It had taken Token no time at all to pick their location. He had chosen a place called Frasca Food and Wine, a restaurant that came highly recommended. They came around six, and waited forty minutes for a table to open up.

"This place sure is ritzy!" Bebe exclaimed as their hostess escorted them to their table.

"I read that the menu changes seasonally, and that the food is a tribute to the food of Friuli-Venezia Giulia, Italy." Token said, he and Nichole were walking ahead of Clyde and Bebe, and reached the table before them.

As they sat down, Clyde asked, "Where'd you read that?"

"He read it in the Zaggot's guide." Nichole said after they had sat down.

Token, who was taking his jacket off, froze and looked up in surprise at her odd pronunciation.

Clyde bugged his eyes out briefly, his eyebrows raised. Bebe kept her eyes on the menu on the table in front of her, and she was trying not to laugh. Token was glad the hostess was gone, and their server hadn't gotten to them yet.

"I believe it is pronounced, Zygotes." Bebe said, smiling across the table at Nichole.

Token, who had taken his jacket and draped it across his chair, rolled his eyes. "It's Zagat's, you weirdos."

Clyde snickered, then opened his menu.

They ordered a pitcher of strawberry lemonade, and spiced almonds and cashews for appetizers. The crowd in the restaurant was more refined then what they were used to at the university and at Harbucks. Looking around, the foursome could see they were the youngest patrons there, but that didn't put them off.

Token wore a smart yellow dress shirt, a black vest and matching black dress pants, and he had a yellow kerchief in the breast pocket of his vest. Nichole wore a pretty, wide skirted yellow dress, a length that came to her knees, that featured black lace trim around the edges. The apron style straps did a great job at showing off her lean yet strong shoulders.

Bebe wore a new dress, one she had bought for the occasion. It was a brilliant crimson red number with sleeves that came down to her elbows and opened with a sweetheart neckline. The bodice was swathed in intricate black swirling patterns, and the skirt was full bodied and featured layers of tulle underneath the red skirt.

Clyde, who dressed to match Bebe, wore black pants, a red dress shirt, and a long, skinny black tie that he had agonized over for an hour before deciding on it.

Bebe gulped down a drink of strawberry lemonade, and spoke. "Hey Nichole, how goes the job hunt?"

"Great! The temp agency set me up with a cleaning service. I'll be starting my first job as a maid, um, I'll be working with another girl, cleaning houses of people who can afford it, and also those who need it." Nichole told her excitedly.

"That's great!" Clyde said, "How much does it pay?"

"Clyde you don't ask a person that." Bebe admonished.

"It's cool. I'll be making eleven an hour, but this first day is a test run, according to my bosses. Which means that, if I do a good job tomorrow, they'll hire me on, and I'll be making some real money."

Token beamed at Nichole, took her hand, and gently kissed the back of her hand. "Proud of you, baby." He told her.

She smiled warmly at him, and mouthed Thank you, to him.

Token cleared his throat, and said, "Well, I think I've figured out what I want to major in."

Bebe and Clyde listened, while grabbing some almonds to snack on.

Token paused for dramatic effect, then said, "Molecular Biology."

His friends and girlfriend politely applauded.

He was gracious, and said, "Thank you, thank you, I know it's been a long time coming, what with the three of you picking your majors in our sophomore year of high school. Clyde, Anthropology, Nichole, Mathematics, and Bebe, Marine Biology."

Bebe looked down at her glass, smiling modestly. "It wasn't easy picking that over law."

Their food was brought to their table, a veritable triumph of Italian cooking. The women had gone to the restrooms to freshen up, after the servers had left, Token and Clyde stood over the table, admiring the food.

"Wow. This look really good." Clyde mused.

"Yeah, it sure does." Token agreed.

Clyde frowned, and it did not go unnoticed by Token.

"What's wrong, buddy?" He asked.

Clyde said, "It's sort of a shame Craig and Tweek aren't here to enjoy this wonderful food with us."

Token looked at the food, then back at Clyde. "Hmm, you're right...let's take pictures of us eating it and show it to them!"

Clyde shook his head and smiled at his friend. "Wow Token. You are like, an even more benevolent black Jesus."

When the girls returned, the took pictures of them eating their meals, and sent them over the phone to Craig and Tweek.

X.X.X The Next Morning X.X.X

Craig awoke to pictures on his phone from both Clyde and Token. He looked at them while he still lay in bed. He was on his back, and he held the phone above his face. He went through pic after pic of them at some fancy pants restaurant gorging themselves on rich Italian food.

Craig shook his head, "This is some Instagram shit right here."

His phone rudely began to play a Kpop song he had chosen as the ring tone for Tweek. Not expecting it, and still half asleep, Craig yelled in surprise, accidentally lost his handle on the phone, and it landed right on his face, smacking him on the nose.

With his phone, still loud as ever, Craig struggled to answer Tweek. When he finally managed to press talk, he sat up in bed.

"What?" He bellowed.

"Good morning! Good morning! It's great to stay up late! Good morning, good morning, to you!" Tweek sang over the phone.

Craig had to admit Tweek had a good singing voice, better than he had anyway. But it was too early in the morning for Tweek's shenanigans.

"Tweek, you know the singing irritates me when you do it first thing in the morning." Craig told him.

"Yeah I know. Why do you think I'm doing it?" Tweek asked.

After a silence, Tweek spoke again.

"Alright you can't stay in bed all day. You have to come meet me at the library, we need to study for our math test that's coming up."

"It's eight-thirty in the morning, can't this wait?" Craig asked.

"No! I have classes at ten, and so do you. We need to study for this, and the library is the best place to go, now come on. Get your fat ass out of bed." Tweek said.

While he did get out of bed, Craig protested somewhat. "My ass is not fat. Just because I'm not built as a twig bitch like you. Wait, how'd you know I was still in bed? You can't see me."

"Can't I? Look out your window." Tweek instructed.

Feeling nervous, Craig slowly turned around to look out his window, and saw...nothing.

"Ha ha! Made you look!" Tweek taunted.

Craig shook his head, and spoke into the phone. "Be there in ten."

He had but to put his Vans on and a dark grey jacket, and he was ready to go. Grabbing his bag while still on the phone with Tweek, Craig opened the door of his dorm room. As soon as he had swung the door open, about forty balloons of different colors fell down from the other side of the doorway.

"Augh! FUCK!" Craig yelled, not expecting that at all.

He could still hear Tweek's socio-pathic laughter as he headed towards the library.

When Craig found Tweek sitting at the center of a large table surrounded by notebooks, flashcards, and hi-liters, he saw what had become of his hair.

Tweek had to have a majority of his hair cut off, leaving him with a shaved, pink colored head.

Craig made his presence known by saying, "Aw, all your pretty hair is gone." In a mocking tone.

Tweek looked up and flipped him off, Craig returned the gesture.

"And who's fault is that? Oh right, yours. Have a seat." Tweek said, gesturing to the seat across from him.

Craig looked the chair, it seemed harmless enough. But being wary after having balloons falling on him, Craig walked around the table, and instead sat in the chair to Tweek's right.

"What are you doing? His friend asked.

"Right now I don't trust you as far as I can through you. I'm sitting right here." Craig declared as he began taking his math notes out of his bag.

Tweek shrugged, "Suit yourself." And went back to his notes.

They studied for hours, going over everything from the past three or four weeks. Math was never their strong suit, and they were determined to at least keep their math grades in the B average. The library was always quiet, the reason for this was because no one ever came into the library, at least not as early as Craig and Tweek. Occasionally they'd see some fourth year students coming in to return some books, or to check out some study material. When they were nearly done, Tweek checked his phone.

Going by the look on his face, Craig asked, "Did Token and Clyde send you photos of them eating food too?"

Tweek nodded, "Yep. Why would they do that?"

"Who knows, they're weird." Craig answered.

They put their belongings back into their bags, getting ready to go to their classes. But when Craig tried to get up, he found he couldn't.

"What the hell?" Craig muttered as he tried again and again to get off his chair.

Tweek sprang up, a cheeky grin plastered on his face.

"Have fun being glued to a chair. Bitch."

Tweek skipped away, and sang as he left, "You really should have sat in the chair across from me!"

Craig slammed his fist down on the table in anger.

X.X.X After classes X.X.X

Harbucks was quiet that day. Bebe guessed that the cold weather outside had something to do with it, people were less likely to come in if the weather outside was worse than normal. Winter might be on its way sooner than later. She still had to work on her Meenah costume.

"Bored!" Bebe whined.

"Go clean the bathrooms." Said one of her coworkers who wasn't Tweek.

Bebe rolled her eyes. "Not that bored."

Her cell phone rang, and while it was against company policy, she still answered it.

"Hello?"

"Bebe? Are you busy?" It was Nichole, there was an urgency in her voice.

"Nah, business is slow. What's up?" Bebe asked.

"What's up is I''m at my new job, and I have to clean this house, but the girl I was supposed to work with never showed up. I can't get a hold of my bosses, and I'm freaking out I might lose my job, can you come over and help me?" Nichole begged.

"Sure thing sweetie. Text me the address of the house, I'll be right there." Bebe said before hanging up.

"Uh, you can't leave." One of her snotty coworkers said.

Bebe ignored him, and asked her manager if it was okay. When he said it was, she wasted no time in clocking out early.

The house was easy enough to find, it was in a derelict neighborhood, the house was a small ranch style house with weeds in the yard, peeling paint, and a cleaning van parked out front. She knocked on the door, and Nichole opened the door and let her in.

"Thank you for helping me!" Nichole exclaimed as she shut the door behind Bebe.

"No problem, I wasn't doing anything anyway." Bebe said.

After stepping in, the smell finally hit her.

"Ugh, that's disgusting! Smells like rotten meat!" Bebe complained.

"I've cleaned two rooms so far. I haven't able to locate where the smell is coming from." Nichole explained.

"Well let's get to cleaning." Bebe said, taking hold of a broom.

It took them well over two hours to finish up the kitchen. The house was filthy with garbage, bugs, old fast food burger wraps and empty soda cans. Rotten fruit and empty frozen dinner trays littered the tables. It was worse in the living room, with papers everywhere hiding the bugs and dirt.

"This is disgusting," Bebe said as she picked up an empty beer can, "Why anyone would chose to live in filth and poverty is beyond me."

Nichole looked up from where she was mopping the floor. "Bebe, nobody chooses to live in filth and poverty. It's because they did something bad."

Bebe nodded with understanding, and went back to cleaning. The bedrooms were horrible, but not as bad as the bathroom, which looked like it hadn't been cleaned in years, and probably hadn't. With Bebe's help Nichole managed to get the entire house clean, her new job was secured.

"Damn, I didn't know cleaning houses would be so hard!" Bebe said.

"Thanks for helping me, again." Nichole said.

While Bebe finished up the living room, Nichole went out to the kitchen. There was a door to the left of the southern wall, one she hadn't looked into yet but she assumed was a broom closet. Nichole opened the door, and let out the loudest scream Bebe had ever heard her make. Rushing to her side, Bebe looked into the closet and when she saw what had made Nichole wail like that, she too let out a very loud, high pitched scream of her own.

AN: Thank you so much to my spectacular reviewers, reyrocks, Sporks, Style Marshlovski, Creek Grrl (Sorry to hear about the grounding thing :( ), kylekennypiptweek, and jpmm0507.

I will probably be busy this week but I'll try to update when I am able to. Thanks for reviewing, If you have questions about this story, please do not hesitate to ask.

Special note: I will be taking prank requests/suggestions that you may have, as long as I can fit into the story somewhere. Please add them to your reviews.

Also I thought I would share with you the actors I picture in my head while I write this story. They are:

Clyde: Adam Devine

Craig: Matt Cohen

Bebe: AnnaLynne McCord

Tweek: Matthew Gray Gubler

Nichole: Yaya Alafia

Token: Donald Glover

See you next time.


End file.
